Today, I told my parents that I'm a smoker. My mother started crying, and said she worried I was gay, but this is almost as bad. That lead on to part two of my confession. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came out to my mom. I had an epic speech planned, and when I tried to tell her, it all fell apart and I started crying and just said, "I'm gay." After a few seconds silence, my mom sighs and says, "Duh." FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
Today, my brother came out to our family as being gay. My mother starting crying because she "wanted grandchildren." I told her that I was planning on having children. She started crying harder. FML
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my mom that I'm gay. She sympathetically patted my back and told me I don't need to make up excuses for me being so unattractive to women. FML
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Top comments
azouwa 26
I suggest you give her a week before you hit her with part 2.
EggyDogger 13
Give it a month, or 5
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Comments (20)
A Frenchy in Eire 31
Well at least you can always quit smoking :)
Lobby_Bee 18
I guess I'm gay?
Lora Wood 11
I've never met a gay man stupid enough to smoke.
Charlie Given 28
Lol do ya happen to live in England where ciggs are called fag's ya could use it for part 2.
alien236 8
Seriously though, smoking is one of the worst (and therefore stupidest) things you can do to yourself. I don't blame your mother for crying. She was probably imagining you in a couple decades with yellow teeth, lung cancer, and a hole in your neck.
PenguinPal3017 19
Sounds like you have more than one oral fixation.
Davros 12
Kill 2 birds with 1 stone and tell them you have an oral fixation
tounces7 28
So be smart, and quit smoking, and then tell her you're gay. Your lungs will thank you someday, and your wallet will thank you immediately.
chairmanofthebored 1
Maybe she is only worried about your health? She might not care about being gay as long as you are happy