Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horseshit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son came to complain that all he and his girlfriend do is have sex, yet never talk to each other. As his dad, I tried to give him good advice, but as his mom makes me miserable every time she opens her mouth, it was a struggle to think what to say. In fact, he’s living my idea of paradise. FML
Today, I spent yet another lunch venting to my best friend about how much I hate my teenage son's girlfriend, thinking he should be with someone less outspoken. Apparently she got tired of listening because she eventually snapped, "Oh for god's sake, just admit you want to fuck your son already!" and left. FML
Today, my teen son came home in a terrible mood because his girlfriend won’t listen to him. I thought he meant conversation-wise, but he meant she refused to obey his commands about what clothes and makeup she wears, who she can talk to, where she can go, and so forth. My son is an asshole. FML
Today, my son asked his mom about sex, so she talked about love, marriage, God, affection and all that bollocks, missing the point that he wanted to know about having good sex since he has a girlfriend now, so I explained all the wet, squishy practical bits of sex. Now my wife is mad at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend kept whining at me, asking why I wouldn't have sex with him, seemingly not caring that my parents were in the room. FML
Today, I walked in on my son having sex with his girlfriend. An hour later, I did it again and got quite annoyed, and yelled at them for having sex again. He said, "What do you mean again? We haven’t finished yet." My son has been having sex for over an hour. Man, do I feel inadequate. FML
Today, I heard my husband giving my son the talk about girls. He said, "You want three main things from women: peace, sex, and kids. If they can't give you those, they aren't worth your time." What an asshole I married. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were riding in the back seat of his mom’s car and she kept talking at him non-stop. He responded only in grunts. When at some point I informed her that her son had been asleep for several minutes, she just kept on talking to him anyway. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend to stop criticizing my son for his table manners. He said, "It's man things, you wouldn't understand." He acted surprised when I blew my top and told him to leave. FML
Today, I grounded my son after finding out that he's been bullying other kids at school. He got mad and screamed at me, calling me a "bastard". Instead of defending me, my wife got pissed and accused me of having taught our son to swear like that. I can never win. FML
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Top comments
lthoyal 8
I sense a castration for your son in the near future.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Time to train that child! Be a parent and teach them to respect women... It any romantic partner regardless of gender for that matter
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Comments (108)
rastafarhi 0
How does one throw abuse?
VampasarousRex 6
That unbelievable horse-shit spewing son of yours..
StromyG2 10
FYL because you raised that child.
l0v3p4in 7
Like father like son.
kalbrek009 20
Time to take him to see a therapist, & if that doesn't help, give him a large tube of lube & buy him a sex doll he can disrespect instead of a real human...jk. Obviously he has a problem #1: He doesn't respect women & therefore shouldn't be with one until he learns how, & #2: If he "feels" a "near constant need for sex", then he needs his head examined to find out why he has such an obsession...get him to a shrink ASAP! You don't want him becoming a serial rapist (later in life) with his current attitude towards women or becoming a registered sex offender because his gf/gf's parents press charges (if he &/or his gf are under 18) when he won't stop or take "No" for an answer.
HEADSTRONG1994 0
I agree with #7. What you said was pretty ridiculous. I'm a psych major and it sound to me like you have some sexual issues you need to work out if you're that jealous of your son for gettin laid more than you
jimmyjamesyall 4
They're in a relationship, oughtn't they be having sex?
picturescrazy 24
Your son sucks.
cheerluv15 0
Your sons a dick
rmyofme 2
There's a world of f*ed up in that statement. Obviously you need to reevaluate your mothering techniques.