Today, it was my first day with new contacts, but I found out they make my eyes red and itchy. Today was also the day I had a very important meeting. They think I showed up stoned. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got sent home from work for appearing stoned/under the influence of drugs. I suffer from severe hay fever, which no antihistamine has fixed yet, hence the red and glassy eyes. FML
Today, I got myself a cool pair of colored contacts. I was wearing them while at home, so that I'll get used to them. Then I had to go to a job interview. I forgot to take them out. I went to a job interview with zebra-print eyes. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML
Today, my boss called me out for a drug test. His reason was because my eyes are puffy and bloodshot, making me look high. I've been suffering from allergies all week, but still had to pee in a cup in front of a complete stranger. FML
Today, still suffering from an eye infection, I received a customer complaint. Having red eyes, asking how a patron's day went, and thanking them as they left my register obviously means that I must be stoned out of my mind. Apparently I've moved to a city where you must be on drugs if you're nice. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML
Today, I was sent to the front office for having blood shot eyes and smelling like smoke. I just didn't get enough sleep and had trouble putting my contacts in, and I always smell like smoke because of my parents' excessive smoking. They didn't believe me. My parents had to come in to back me up. FML
Today, I was attempting to tame my bushy eyebrows, since I'm starting a new job in a few days and need to look somewhat presentable, when I poked myself in the eye. Hard. I thought I’d blinded myself for a few moments. Now it’s just red, sore and watery. FML
Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML
Today, I went to the eye doctor. For the past three days every time I wear my glasses I become nauseous, get migraines, and have that "fish-eye view" where everything is rounded. Turns out they placed my lenses on the wrong sides. FML
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Top comments
Lehk 9
you should have made a show of putting in some vizine and told them "forgive me, my new contacts are bothering my eyes"
sdcrazy1018 0
I'm sure someone said something about your eyes to you....and guess what? All you had to say was, "Yea my contacts are bothering me." Yea, this is real FML-worthy *shakes head*
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Comments (49)
Fabby_fml 2
Yeah, because there's no reason for your eyes to be red other than being stoned. My eyes are red all the time, usually people assume it's because I'm tired. Unless they're stoners, of course. e_e
Flounder 2
Unless you're a naturally slow mover/talker or speak in a disorganized fashion, no one's going to think you're stoned just because you have red eyes. And if they do, all that means is that they are highly uneducated about the effects of marijuana and simply buy into the "RED EYES - YOU'RE TRIPPING BALLS!!!!11!!" hysteria.
monbon6788 0
this is probably one of those things where everyone stands around thinking he's stoned and talk about it behind OP's back, but no one actually says it to his face. all the while he think nothing's wrong. then later he overhears people talking about it or a friend fills him in. FYL, OP.
Starfire22 5
Don't lie, we know that you took a hit before your meeting! Don't worry, we won't tell... maybe;D
bexox 0
Go back to the optometrist. They can give you some new contacts or drops.
nm22395 0
23
plethora 3
Every optometrist will tell you not to wear contacts for a full day the first time. A couple of hours, then take them out; a bit longer the next time, then take them out; etc, etc, etc. Therefore, YDI.
Norwegian_Wood 4
Not every. Mine certainly didn't. Then again, he barely talked at all... OP FYL if you got a doc like mine that didn't tell you anything. And definitely go back and complain and try other contacts. I'm going through the same thing right now, trying to find contacts that are good. The first pair I had really irritated my eyes.
shananigans 0
I'm positive that when I read this in moderation, it definitely said the OP was having his first meeting with his PROBATION officer...
rdogrdog 0
were you stoned?
Stacieskelley 0
check the saline ur using. if it has Thimerasol switch to a preservative free.