Today, I found out that the word "segue" is pronounced like the "Segway" brand. Unfortunately, I found this out as I was giving a speech, which someone interrupted to correct me. I'm a 41 year-old salesman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that I've been saying a word wrong my whole life and all my friends have been too polite to correct me, when I found out that "Segue" and "Segway" are pronounced the same. FML
Today, while reading out loud in front of my entire class and teacher, I learned that I can't pronounce the word 'success'. It came out as 'sex', and when I tried to correct myself more slowly (multiple times), it came out 'sexsex'. FML
Today, I wanted to look clever during a work meeting, so I used a thesaurus to find a fancy word for “important.” I ended up calling a project "pivotal" but mispronounced it as "pee-votal" in front of everyone. FML
Today, I confidently corrected someone in a group conversation. I was wrong. Very wrong. Everyone stared while Google proved me incorrect in seconds. I nodded and pretended I meant something else. FML
Today, a customer punched me in the face for repeating their order back to them because they thought I was making fun of their speech impediment. I have the same speech impediment. FML
Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML
Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML
Today, I was teaching a small group of improv students. I asked one guy to do a monologue, and laughed to myself while he did so. I said, "Sorry, I'm just laughing at the way you're doing it." He then got upset and pointed out that he had a speech impediment. FML
Today, I confidently corrected someone’s pronunciation of a word during a conversation. They pulled out their phone, looked it up, and turned the screen towards me. I was wrong. They said, “No worries!” while absolutely worrying me forever. FML
Today, while thinking about something cringe I did, I accidentally said, "Oh fuck!" aloud during someone's speech. The room besides me and the speaker was otherwise quiet. FML
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Top comments
TomeDr 25
What kind of rude idiot interrupts a speech? Believe me, that guy looks worse than you do to others. Not knowing a word’s pronunciation isn’t as big a deal as being a classless twit who interrupts speeches.
core01 30
He didn't say he used it wrong. He said he pronounced it wrong.
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Comments (2)
TomeDr 25
What kind of rude idiot interrupts a speech? Believe me, that guy looks worse than you do to others. Not knowing a word’s pronunciation isn’t as big a deal as being a classless twit who interrupts speeches.
Nico97 3
YDI for having a shit vocabulary
core01 30
He didn't say he used it wrong. He said he pronounced it wrong.