Today, I was jogging in my neighborhood when I saw a kid's ball roll over to where I was jogging. I stopped, grabbed the ball for the kid and went to hand it to him. He then yelled, "Stranger danger!" and his parents came sprinting out. I had to explain the story to the police for 30 minutes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, I noticed a young child wandering out onto a busy street. I managed to grab his arm just as he stepped off the sidewalk and yank him away from almost certain death. My reward was his mother, who was on her cell phone the whole time, screaming at me for touching her child. FML
Today, my toddler bolted in a parking lot, running through lanes of cars, right past a man, and forcing me to drop everything I was holding and catch him. I gave the man hell, demanding to know why he didn't even try to stop my child from running into traffic. He just said, "Not my kid, not my problem." Asshole. FML
Today, my neighborhood had its annual summer barbecue, and I ended up showing a little boy who lives down the street how to hit a baseball. When I gave him back his bat so he could try for himself, he swung it into my shin and yelled, "Tag! You're it!" FML
Today, I was jogging, and I saw a little boy walking. Crying and all alone. Thinking that he was probably lost, I asked to him with my sweetest voice: 'Hi there, did you lose somebody?' He screamed terrified and ran away. This is the second time this has happened to me. FML
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML
Today, a weird guy approached me and started asking me many questions. I didn't know how to get out of this situation, so I suddenly ran away shouting, "Stranger danger! " I'm 21. FML
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Top comments
ForestFire0 1
Well, he's safe at least. What a brat. I blame the parents for giving him fear without intelligence.
immafiremylaser 0
That's what you get for being a considerate person.
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Comments (191)
null_fml 11
I'm suddenly reminded of Ralph from the Simpsons when Marge puts her hand on his shoulder... "She's touching my special area!"
PoeGyrl_fml 0
The parents totally overreacted. Stranger Danger is no biggie really because kids are taught that in school, tv, family etc. But the parents calling the cops was way too much, unless the kid made up some crap.
Hockeyman11385 0
Was it Ralph Wiggum?
perfectwinds 0
That's why you teach kids the difference between good strangers and bad strangers. There IS a difference.
drimpossible 0
Stranger danger is the message from various campaigns that go back to the 80s... But they missed the point you are far more likely to be molested by a relative or person of authority you already know. In any event some parents are just paranoid and poor judges of actual risk levels
FMLgirlx3 0
This is where I would bounce the ball of the kid's head for payback.
prttyyngthng 0
Classic. I let loose a loud "HA!" upon reading this...
Chuffy 0
1) If the kid's parents were worried enough to call the police, then they should have been supervising play time. 2) Don't get me started on the ball rolling into the street... 3) Maybe you should have FML'd the kid by kicking the ball back and knocking the kid out.
chris81589 0
Lmao @ #80. Dumbass little kids.
PUNKNATHAN 0
Lol That Sucks Mam