Miscellaneous Roasted - FML

Roasted

wordmalfunction - 25/05/2009 21:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I was preparing a dinner for some business associates, in hopes of closing the deal on a promotion. I emailed them with the menu, in case there were any allergies. Hours later, I checked the email again to find that instead of serving Roast Duck I would be serving Roast Fuck. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Mels - 06/01/2014 20:57 - United States - Boston

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

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I know her so well

Anonymous - 20/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I spent a good deal of my afternoon preparing a nice dinner for my girlfriend. When I finally served the meal, I proudly presented her with a beautifully arranged plate of salmon. She looked at it and said, “You know I’m allergic to fish, right?” We had cereal for dinner instead. FML

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A man without a plan

Anonymous - 31/01/2023 16:30

Today, I was going to surprise my partner with a romantic dinner, but when I got home I realized I had forgotten the main ingredient: the food. FML

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Chefinblack - 19/10/2015 22:13 - Australia

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

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Big Brother shopping task IRL

Anonymous - 19/10/2023 07:30 - Germany

Today, I sent an important email to my entire team, but I accidentally left a shopping list as the subject line. They responded with grocery items they needed. Nobody mentioned the email content. FML

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fuckthisandfuckthatandfuckyoutoo - 28/07/2013 16:23 - United States

Today, I was preparing a customer's meal in my restaurant's kitchen, when I choked on my own saliva and went into a coughing fit. The head chef, who's always hated my guts, accused me of trying to hock a loogie into the meal and fired me on the spot. FML

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Whoopsx99 - 30/01/2010 19:21 - United States

Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML

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Welcome!

Annoyed - 27/04/2025 00:00 - Canada

Today, I invited a friend over for dinner and spent hours preparing a fancy meal. When I opened the door, he walked in with his new girlfriend, his mom, his sister, and his dog. I barely had enough food for one, let alone five. I ended up serving my fancy meal on paper plates. FML

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Introvert struggles

knife knife - - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

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Oops - 14/01/2010 15:55 - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

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PsychoX 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 2:30

So are you male or female? This will be the determining factor of the promotion after that email.

lame9379 0

Tuesday 26 May 2009 2:29

YDI for not checking your spelling before sending an important email out.

onime_fml 0

Saturday 8 August 2009 10:52

maybe this can turn to your advantage, for instance Roast **** is one of my favourite dishes.

xoxcinderellaxox 0

Friday 11 September 2009 10:34

ydi for not proofreading

Nacirema20 0

Friday 18 September 2009 13:47

haha, i thought the FML was gonna say roast DICK. Lmao... i think that woulda been funnier. :)

mrchiot 0

Saturday 13 February 2010 7:46

trt

lillypilly35 0

Sunday 21 March 2010 2:26

LMAO!!

moon21_fml 0

Sunday 26 September 2010 0:16

LOL that's really funny!

elementex 0

Monday 18 April 2011 13:10

you might wanna proof read before sending anything the next time.

Katy0_0 0

Monday 30 May 2011 6:15

Yummmmmmn... my favorite dish!! :)

money127 4

Thursday 28 July 2011 17:40

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

BoredBrunette 7

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:45

LOL. Proofread...FYL

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

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Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML

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Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her Facebook status changed to "In a relationship." This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML

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Today, I got into a very intense fight with my roommate about rent payment. She got so angry that she snatched my purse, walked out into the hallway and threw it down the garbage chute. Along with my money, my driver's licence, my credit cards, and my monthly paycheck was in that purse. FML

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Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

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Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

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