Sleep_lover654
Tempe, United States
Today, I discovered my dog humping my sister's five month old baby while babysitting. FML
Sleep_lover654 tells us more.
First of all, Iwanted to thank FML staff for publishing this, I didn't think they would. Anyway, I just wanted to clear up some obvious confusion here. The full story is, of course my sister dropped off her baby at my apartment. Later on, I had left the baby for her nap, naturally leaving the door open as I always saw my sister do. I went into the kitchen to make her bottle and a quick meal for me. I didn't see my dog near me but I thought nothing of it since he is always so well- behaved. Right when I finished, I heard the baby cry out but giggle, so I thought maybe she had gotten one of the toys. Clearly wrong. I went into the room to see my dog had somehow (do not ask how for I do not know) opened her crib, gotten in, and did...well, did that. I had to quickly pry him off of course but unfortunately, the image is burned into my mind.
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Top comments
sumi90 12
You should not let the dog babysit!
Miss_Chevious 37
Someone is way too early into zoophillia
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Comments (75)
Miss_Chevious 37
Someone is way too early into zoophillia
Rawrshi 25
... is there an age when it isn't too early?
incoherentrmblr 22
Inter-species erotica...
Galym3d3 18
As Scooby Doo would say, "Ruh Roh!"
corporatescoundr 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ummmm... How long did you leave them alone? I can't even imagine what my first thought would be in that situation besides "NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
nonsensical 26
He wanted to establish his dominance over the baby. that'll show him!
Polynomial 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm reminded of the New York pitbull falsly acused of raping a 2 year old baby boy.
MariaGiovanni 25
yes #22 he did but none of the story matched with the moms story and all facts pointed to it being a human crime
oiler 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
so did you leave them in a bed or on the ground? im sure they should be in a crib?
lexred 30
No no he OP sent the dog to your home so that it could hump u.
doodlecloud 27
Why is this being downvoted? Where the hell DID OP leave the baby? I love dogs but you really shouldn't leave a dog and a baby alone in a room together. **** you sister's life and her baby's life, I hope you get your act together or she finds another babysitter.
sammiaaron 16
it's being down voted because no, you don't just leave babies in their cribs. like, you obviously don't have kids. if you did you would know that babies are generally crawling by 5 months. which, is on the floor. "you need to get your act together" I highly doubt this person instructed the dog to go hump their niece. some dogs just hump everything. for all we know OP just walked out the room to get a new diaper or food and walked back in on that
doodlecloud 27
Lol, I'm a qualified teacher and nursery worker...I know kids. I'm not saying you should leave them in a crib permanently. But no, they don't start typically crawling at 5 months. But even if they did, that doesn't mean you leave a young child alone with a dog. Even if just for less than a minute, this FML proves why you don't. It could have been even worse.
sammiaaron 16
and I'm a parent. I've also raised 3 other kids that aren't mine. you don't just leave an infant alone, while they're wide awake, to go get prep your meal and the babies in a completely separate room. that's why they have the infant bouncy seats and high chairs? like... you are obviously miss know it all... getting a bottle real quick is one thing. but to also get yourself a meal together? that's a lot of time for a baby to be alone. you should know. you know everything. ...especially considering OP said "while I was in the kitchen the dog somehow opened the crib, got in and started to do that" why would the dog have that much time to do that? because they left the kid alone too long. #56
sumi90 12
You should not let the dog babysit!
awildwhisper 30
No one else would give the doggy a bone
zyero 9
Horribly inappropriate yet hilariously well done pun
WCARlover 35
why though? dogs will hump literally anything they can get their...er...stuff on
LPac5295 27
Looks like Scooby-Doo needs to solve the mystery of not humping stuff.