Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finished a painting I'd spent 3 weeks working on for an exhibition. When I came back from lunch, my cat was perched above it on my desk. He looked at me, then down at the painting, then jumped down onto it. He slipped and smeared the wet paint everywhere, ruining the whole thing. FML
Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML
Today, while I was painting, my little nephew came in and started watching me. I left to clean my brushes. When I came back into the room, my nephew had spilled paint all over the carpet making a rainbow. It took me 5 hours to clean it up. FML
Today, I spent the afternoon painting my bedroom and was really pleased with how it turned out. When I moved the furniture back, I noticed a large patch behind the wardrobe I'd missed. The paint shop had closed, and I had no idea which shade I'd used. FML
Today, I was quite happily glossing my new bathroom door, when my useless, alcoholic, housemate came rolling in, knocked the paint over, stood in it, and without realising, walked it all the way down the stairs. I had just had a brand new carpet fitted. FML
Today, I was painting my bedroom walls, when I was struck with an uncontrollable bout of diarrhea. I had to watch helplessly from the en-suite bathroom as my 2 year old daughter painted a lovely picture for me, all over my new $500 sofa. FML
Today, I painted my daughter's room with the new paint we bought. It's an oil-based paint which hides all blemishes on the wall, but apparently makes me sick. I'm now throwing up everywhere, but at least the room looks good. FML
Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML
Today, my husband and I cleaned our house. We swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, and scrubbed. We moved the furniture and got in the cracks. We were extremely thorough. At 9 p.m., our cat had diarrhea and he got it all over himself. He didn't know what to do, so he ran through the house, spraying poop everywhere. FML
Today, after three weeks of hard work, I finally finished painting my room. Apparently my 6-year-old brother thought I wasn't done and that he should help me out. I now have little red handprints all over my white walls. FML
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Top comments
Hikarishimizu 13
YDI for leaving your cat in the living room with all the paint fumes, which could have killed it. F the cats life, not yours. He/she probably rubbed up against the walls for revenge.
mattman1994 0
hey can I borrow your cat? I need some help painting my room on Tuesday
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Comments (181)
PlatanitaFrita 0
Kill your cat!!!
myanichole 22
What the ****? What if someone suggested to kill you because you made a mistake?
ashesacid 0
that's not a fml that's jus funny haha
ashesacid 0
that's not a fml that's jus funny haha
Edgar210 0
I agree with # diez :D dogz > cats
sallen0046 4
Why would you leave an animal free to roam a house with wet paint and expect nothing to happen? All cats do is rub up against things and lick themselves. YDI for not planning ahead and shutting the animal out of the room you were painting.
itstinnytiny 0
that's what you get.
RedInThaHead 0
**** that bitch!!!!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for painting. YDI for poor planning. YDI for being in a rush. YDI for sucking as a pet owner. YDI for having a living room. YDI for having carpet. YDI for having walls. YDI for having a house. It's been said already, but it bears repeating: FYCL for being stuck in a house with paint fumes. You're a terrible pet owner. I hope it ***** on your pillow. Twice.
Nightwolf19 0
epic cat awesomeness. translation: yo cat rules bitch.
BeautifulDizaztr 0
YDI for having a cat...they're horrible pets who probably plot your death at night when you're sleeping. yeah...I'm sure it's a "accident" that little fluffy positioned herself at the top of the stairs just as you were going downstairs.....
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I've had more small dogs "accidentally" position themselves at the top of the stairs just as I'm going down them then cats. All the cats I've ever had were nice enough to get up and move when I wanted to go down the stairs. Also Fluffy is a dumb name for a pet no matter what animal it is.