Today, we had a sprint race in gym class that I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML
Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML
Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was, "A man running." I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I faked a sore throat for the school nurse so I could go home early. It took my dad the rest of the school day just to get there to pick me up. FML
Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said, "Not in a million years, fat ass!" before I could say it was from someone else. FML
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
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Top comments
iliketurdles 7
Doesn't matter. Still won.
sierra142 19
Ha ha ha ha. I can just picture it.
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Comments (107)
Krazygye 0
sorry fatman. this calls for a redo
ladeizy 0
Lolllll i pictured it to hahahahahahahah
rastafunk 0
If you want to win put a twinky at the end. No jk I'm not that mean. ;3
sakana_fml 7
I'm surprised everyone is actually making supportive jokes for Dan. I must be on a different website.
Harrisonwoody 3
U stupid !!!
Jaws1240 0
FAT PEOPLE UNITE!
LilyZombie 8
Picturing it in slow motion with "we are the champions" made for an epic Lol moment :) thanks for sharing.
sincerelyticee 0
hi-la-rious
indielover5678 0
Awwh! Too cute. Don't be embarrassed! Just tell everyone you used the force to stop them from running coz you didn't want them to distract you ;) xx
jacob4592 0
Wow