Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package, we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year-old daughter to see what she thought about it. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter figured out how to use the microwave, microwaving my brand new 3G iphone. It was completely wrecked. So was the microwave. FML
Today, my eight-year-old microwaved our thermometer to see if the temperature would change. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML
Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML
Today, I did the dishes to make my parents happy, even though it's my brother's chore. My mom's fancy new Yeti cup was among the dirty dishes, which also has a Bluetooth speaker on the bottom. I didn't know this, and now the Bluetooth speaker is now ruined, mom and dad are furious, and I apparently have to buy a new one. FML
Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML
Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
littlerock_fml 0
So there was a protective cover on your microwave and you didn't realize. Yes, your life is really difficult. Oh how you suffer.
Moviefreak321 0
Are you smarter than a 5th grader? I think not...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (179)
murdermygymsox 0
Wow. You guys are idiots. You totally deserve it. I applaud your child for not turning out to be like you guys.
eeee93757 0
People of your intelligence level shouldn't be able to buy or operate home appliances.
TommyCheeks 0
Isn't blue suppose to be a calming colour ? and yes YDI definitely
Night22_fml 4
Well, my parents are just like this, except instead of overreacting, they actually CHECK IT.
Sharon_Cocks 2
wow.. a 12 year old is smarter than the both of you
auroraaustralis 0
...thank god your daughter's intelligence wasn't inherited from either you or your husband.
YungMarlon23 0
wow... owned by a 12 year old... that's jus sad...
am94_fml 0
you really shouldn't be parents if you're that goddamn stupid
jaxsk 0
Wow yeah you sound really immature to have children. That's not an FML... that's an idiot.
LissaMccracken 23
stupid people... stupid people everywhere.
WolfgangDS 0
This is why we shouldn't kill stupid people: They give birth to smart kids.