Today, I'm considering faking my death in order to get out of my relationship. My girlfriend got in a car accident that left her disfigured, and I no longer find her attractive. I met someone at work who's a better fit for me. I know I'm probably an asswipe, but is it wrong to want a partner whom I'm attracted to? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML
Today, I came to realize that dating as an overweight girl sucks. I can’t get a guy to commit/stay to save my life. I go on dating apps, and when we exchange photos or meet in person they abandon me. I know that this will change if I lose weight, but is it wrong for me to want to be loved for who I am? FML
Today, I met a girl who's the whole package: brains, beauty, shared interests, great personality, single, and into me. Too bad I married my bitchy, depressive high school girlfriend who said she'd kill herself if I didn't. Sometimes, she still tells me she'll do it if we divorce. I believe her. FML
Today, a few months after my co-worker had stopped wearing her engagement ring, I decided to put on the moves and start flirting with her. I soon found out that her fiancé had died, and that she's nowhere near over him, despite her brave face. I feel like a total asshole. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she is only going out with me because I look like the person she really wants to go out with. FML
Today, I realized that the woman I love, who is my best friend, deserves better than me at the nadir of my life. We're still just friends, but she's been a much better friend to me than I have been to her. It's time to disappear and fix myself. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
Today, the guy I thought I was gonna marry left me for another woman. I want to jump off my apartment building, but I’m too much of a wimp to even do it. Now, I get to live the rest of my life wallowing in sadness, while he gives his new girl the happiness I once had. FML
Today, I just got a girlfriend who I love a lot, but I’m friends with this other girl out of pity. It’s so obvious she likes me a lot, and even goes the extra mile for me, but she’s just not my type. I’ve contemplated many times how to get rid of her without hurting her feelings. I just can’t bring myself to do it. FML
Today, my girlfriend has memory issues because of a car accident. She broke up with me because I was acting like if things were more serious that she wanted them to be. She forgot she proposed. FML
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Top comments
jlc82 14
no probably about it...you are an asswipe. this is more of a **** her life for being stuck with a **** stain like you
roryab 8
i mean thats pretty shitty theres a right way to do things and a wrong way and you took the worst way
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Comments (12)
copalolita 17
Im sure you’ll be such a delight to your future wife. Your girlfriend is dodging a huge bullet. I seriously hope you’ll get a taste of your own medicine one day - have someone love you conditionally then they leave you when those conditions aren’t met. Yeah, YDI 100%
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Wow... okay, first of all, faking your death to get out of a relationship is a ridiculous and unrealistic solution. Real life isn't a movie. Second, I get wanting to be attracted to your partner, but geez... I have to wonder, you said she got into a car accident? The ultimate question - was she the one at fault? I'm a woman and I hate women drivers... they're always on their phones when driving and are statistically worse drivers than men. If it was her fault, you might be less of an asswipe for breaking up with her. But still, you're an asswipe either way.