Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I met an old school friend at a leisure centre swimming pool. We talked for a while and then walked to the end of the pool. Suddenly, out of nowhere, she kneed me in the nuts and pushed me into the water. Once I got up from the water, she told me It was for being mean to her at school. FML
Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I saved a woman from drowning at a pool where I lifeguard, but when I got her out of the water she started screaming about sexual assault. Apparently I accidentally brushed her breasts when pulling her up and out of the water. She wants to sue me. FML
Today, my bratty sister shoved me overboard during a boat ride. Not ten seconds after being pulled back on board, I got an earful of abuse from my parents. My sister is the family favorite and they refuse to believe that I didn't "provoke" her. FML
Today, my family and I attended a pool party. I never learned to swim, so I didn't bring a suit. When someone asked why I wasn't in the pool, my sister replied in a loud voice, "She's on her period and didn't want the pool to get dirty!" Thanks. FML
Today, at the swimming pool, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up on my 5-year-old daughter underwater and surprise her. I grabbed her by the sides, and she shrieked. A moment later, a brown cloud erupted from her swimsuit. Cue screaming and a mass panic from the other kids. FML
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Top comments
JBiz_fml 0
I ******* hate little kids
Serial 2
put your hands over your eyes, it makes you invisible
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Comments (258)
padlarf 14
Well done! Stupid kid! If you can't stand the heat don't go in to the kitchen
Eresbel 0
I think writing FMLs from other perspectives is sometimes necessary. Too many of these FMLs are just people taking other people's problems and making it about them. Like the guy who was all "FML" because his WIFE got HER period at their wedding. People are too selfish. Also, most little kids like being tossed into the pool. It totally makes sense you did it back if she started it. I would have thought she wanted to play a game.
Art_Vandeley 0
Damn right #7!
1Tsk 0
did she drown?
rabidbacon 0
How to make a kid float: Add two scoops of ice cream, root beer, one large pool....
plethora 3
#22: I see what you did there XD #25: That is not what irony means, dumbarse.
texmas 0
Dumb bitch had it coming. She shouldn't have pushed you in if you CAN'T push her in.
alex_vik 1
#39 - Ok, they're a hypocrite then. Whatever, I don't give a ****.
Tehalon 0
Her fault for not knowing how to swim, unless she lives in a frikking desert.
Arzdin 0
lol at #7. They should certainly be told the rule " what goes around comes around."