Today, my girlfriend got super paranoid when I received flowers, along with a card saying what a "lovely time" the sender had last weekend. My girlfriend decided this was proof I'd cheated on her. The card was signed "Vanessa," which is also her mother's name. Who stayed with us last weekend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a bouquet of beautiful flowers from someone I'd never heard of. My boyfriend flipped his shit and stormed out, calling me a cheater. I called the flower shop. Turns out he made a fake order, just so he could accuse me of cheating and dump me. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I was in a terrific mood after finding a bouquet of beautiful flowers on my doorstep when I came home. That is, until I recognised the handwriting of my "secret admirer" was the same as my mother's. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, I got flowers sent to my work, I happily opened them in front of my co-workers thinking they were from my crush, I open the card to see "Love you, from mom". My mother thinks my love life is so pathetic, thats she needs to send me flowers to cheer me up. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to celebrate our anniversary. He had a card written in crayon with my name spelled wrong, and a basket I had seen his mother throw in the trash filled with flower petals ripped from my mom's garden. Our anniversary was 3 days ago. FML
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's car from another girl telling him she hoped he liked the flowers. These were the same flowers he gave me while I was in the hospital, just after having his kid. FML
Today, I got a reply to my Valentine's Day card that I sent to my girlfriend. I'll get the address right next time because her neighbor is really creeping me out now. FML
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Top comments
Robert Kenneth Marshall 6
pretty risky cheating on her with her mother. well go big or go home is what they say
needagoodlaugh 34
I'm not one to normally say you need to ditch your girlfriend but this to me raises so major ref flags. If she is accusing you of cheating and trying to use this as proof then there is no trust in the relationship from her end. If you two have been together a long time and you think it's worth saving then I would suggest some counseling to work in her trust issues.
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Comments (26)
GrainHauler 9
I feel your pain brother
ThePaperDragon 31
Could she be projecting some guilt to you?
RichardPencil 32
Ah, plot twist! She's covering up her own deceitful behavior by making wild and insane claims about her boyfriend and her mom. That sounds so ... what's the word? ... mmm, presidential!
pablocrimson115 2
I agree with everyone else- she's most likely got some trust problems dude. Either have a talk with her or seek some counseling, or if you'd like, end it there.
GrumpyGrinch 23
It's either severe trust issues, that need professional help, or it's extreme stupidity and can't be cured.
zeeba_neighba 10
Hide the kitchen knives, my friend. Except for the one you keep under the mattress, while sleeping with one eye open.