Today, I posted a meme on Facebook that said, “Dear Santa, I want a man who’s at least 6ft tall, abs, can plan dates, texts back, has a job and a car.” A friend of mine commented, “Dear Santa, I want a girl under 150lbs, no kids, no emotional baggage, self sufficient and doesn’t bitch 24/7.” His comment got 25 likes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML
Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
Today, I posted on Facebook that I got the Princess Peach Happy Meal toy and I was super ecstatic. A friend of mine commented, “This shit is why you’re 32 and still single as fuck. Get a boyfriend and go start a family.” Her comment got 38 likes. I threw my laptop across the room and burst into tears. FML
Today, I was feeling bitter about the ballyhoo surrounding Valentine’s Day. I made a status on Facebook saying the holiday was stupid. Someone commented, “You’re only saying that because you can’t get a boyfriend to save your life and haven’t been laid in years because you’re obese.” They’re right. I cried. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I saw that the girl who used to sleep with everyone in high school got engaged. I commented on her post, “How did a girl who was easier to get into than community college get a ring?” She replied, “Because I kept my body in shape, unlike you, have a quality day!” Her comment got 43 likes. I give up. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML
Today, the guy I like posted a story that said, “Why can’t a girl who’s into metal be into me?” Deciding to shoot my shot, I replied, “I’m a girl who’s into metal, wassup cutie?” He deleted it and posted a new one: “Why can’t an ATTRACTIVE girl who’s into metal be into me?” FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Make a stupid post, get a stupid response.
copalolita 16
Stop putting superficial shit on your wishlist and start putting things like integrity and kindness. People treat dating like it’s “Build-A-Bitch Workshop”
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Comments (4)
tiptoppc 21
Make a stupid post, get a stupid response.
copalolita 16
Stop putting superficial shit on your wishlist and start putting things like integrity and kindness. People treat dating like it’s “Build-A-Bitch Workshop”
BurnInDemonFire 39
You don't deserve a man. That attitude should get you a one-way trip to Ihla da Queimada Grande.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Did none of you people leaving comments see that OP said it was a meme she posted? Memes don't have to be taken literally... now, if she is that shallow, yeah, she deserves the equally shallow response. If she was posting the meme as a joke, sounds like a lot of people need to ask Santa for a sense of humor next year.