Today, I passed a field where some kids were playing football. The ball rolled over in my direction, so they asked me to kick it over. I tried and failed three times, and ended up throwing it over, where it embarrassingly landed about 2 feet away. They had to come over and get it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was in the park for a walk when a ball rolled to my feet. Figuring it belonged to the kids not far off, I wound back and kicked. The ball had actually been kicked by someone else for their dog to chase and I ended up punting it in the head. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML
Today, in my school's rugby grand final, I had to take a penalty kick to win the game. Possibly the easiest kick I've taken all year. I stuff it up, and it completely missed. A crowd of 2000 people laughed, and later booed me off the field. FML
Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML
Today, I saw a father and son playing football in a car park as I was on my way to work. The ball rolled towards me, so feeling nice, I kicked it back to them. Turns out it went straight through their car window. FML
Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, I tried to catch a rogue soccer ball at the park. I sprinted, leapt into the air, and managed to catch it. I also managed to trip on a picnic blanket, crash into a stroller (which was thankfully empty), and fall face-first into a salad bowl full of potato salad. FML
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Top comments
tylersign 11
It's ok Grammy, I'm sure someone will help you across the street.
Feklfekl2222 32
That's just embarrassing.
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Comments (195)
sugarkiller_fml 6
Are you sick?
harrystylesfan69 5
What does that have to do with anything?
Leewannabe 10
The moment when " You deserved it" is not enough to express your feelings....
HeyMondayAddict 4
I'm guessing you're no Michael Vick.
Livencountry 5
Jumber, couldn't it very well be football(soccer), since op is from Ireland?
HeyMondayAddict 4
I'm on my phone so it doesn't display the location of the op. My apologies for assuming. (:
Posiedon57 0
I'm on my phone and it displays the location of OP. The very top, above the FML itself :3
HeyMondayAddict 4
Mine just says the op's name and gender. :/
margie2194 12
Nothing irks me more in life when people use "of" instead of "have". That's grammatically incorrect, m'dear.
VitalDisplayII 0
Are you mental?
HeyMondayAddict 4
Why does she have to be mental to not be able to kick or throw far?
HeyMondayAddict 4
My mistake.
Braxton_84 3
I suggest you stop sharing things like this with others. Yes, that means on FML, as well. Also, go lift some weights.
Glidefedt 6
Theres a reason why Ireland has the worst football players in Europe
tattoofano 0
so true.
Posiedon57 0
I love how you word things, Jumber. Such big and wonderful sounding words. And I probably sound seriously, seriously weird.
Glidefedt 6
Name 5 currrny top PL players then.
perdix 31
What color card does the ref give you when you suck?
rabbittboi 18
^ whichever color the cement walls behind the bleachers have been painted... If he finds out you swallow it will be the color the card key to his hotel room is...
Batman0201 0
You guess are such bitches.
Bball_boy15 3
What?
trolodon 2
Bad English dude?
CosmicElk 26
I think it's trying to communicate
Bluegrassgirl66 1
and this ****** your life how?