Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Today, I found out that my fiancé, with whom I've been with for 10 years, doesn't want to have sex with me because he thinks I'm going to trap him into having a baby. He sees me take my contraceptive pill nightly and knows I was booked in for having a coil fitted before Covid-19 happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened, he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
crackyeggy 9
If you had sex this week it's possible. Sperm lives in the body for a lot longer than you'd expect.
gearhead369 20
Sex education was lost on this poor soul
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
gintwinsmoore 20
he need remedial sex ed classes...
toriaraek10 2
Sperm can live up to five days and they don't go in the uterus until about 7-12 days AFTER fertilizing an egg (it takes that long for the fertilized egg to travel through the Fallopian tubes). Once it enter the uterus it takes about 48hr for "implantation" to occur which can cause cramping and even implantation bleeding in 30% of pregnancies. Some of you people really should not be having sex with your level mof knowledge about the reproductive system.
Makifun 19
I feel you...
toriaraek10 2
They can get pregnant if they had unprotected intercourse in the five days before ovulation occurs and for 24-36hrs after ovulation. Then the fertilized egg will travel through the Fallopian tubes for 7-12 days before implanting (burrowing into the uterine wall) in the uterus. The "pill" stops the female body from releasing an egg to be fertilized. If you miss one pill you are probably okay, miss two or more and you need to use condoms or another form of birth control for the rest of this cycle (until her period) and then again for the whole next cycle bc it takes birth control at least one full cycle to become full effective.
TomeDr 25
Before you DO get pregnant, you might want to consider the IQ of the future father...
JustAnotherJose2 14
Maybe he does it with you when you're asleep...
Mpineda57 11
******* idiot
killer0689 20
maybe you need to give him the sex talk. his parents forgot I guess
maybeimhere 7
Just got the birth control talk of a life time. Now I know everything. Thanks commentators!
mergeterge 24
Can't tell if being serious or ironic... Lol
ZirePhoenix 10
maybe he knows something you didn't...