Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut for cheating on him since we never had sex. I attempted to explain the birth control was for a condition I have that causes my period to be non-existent. He didn't believe me. FML
Today, my boyfriend said that to be extra careful he's been taking my birth control pills too. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, I realised my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago. Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year. FML
Today, I found out that my fiancé, with whom I've been with for 10 years, doesn't want to have sex with me because he thinks I'm going to trap him into having a baby. He sees me take my contraceptive pill nightly and knows I was booked in for having a coil fitted before Covid-19 happened. FML
Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened, he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
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Top comments
crackyeggy 9
If you had sex this week it's possible. Sperm lives in the body for a lot longer than you'd expect.
gearhead369 20
Sex education was lost on this poor soul
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Comments (121)
wakemeupplease 21
I think he missed the pill :D
ZombieSazza 34
Double Dutch to be sure, use condoms and the pill, just to be safe. Better to be safe than sorry.
Mynamewontfi 40
As a Dutch person, I have to ask, why is it called Double Dutch? (it's an honest question)
BlameTheOwls 14
Double Dutch is a style of jump rope where you use two ropes...never heard it used in reference to birth control before...
HeartYou101 31
I read somewhere (a sex education book actually) that it's because people in Holland apparently use both condoms and birth control (Double Dutch) and teenage pregnancy is very low in Holland because of it. Not sure how true that is though. Although, I was in Amsterdam 3 weeks ago and compared to Dublin, I didn't see any pregnant women or many children around at all (it was a weekend when I was visiting too, so they weren't in school). It was unusual to see, because so many young women in Ireland have children, it's quite common now. If the book I read was true, Ireland and everywhere else should follow Holland's example.
Poohbear12345 4
I believe you've caught a bright one. :)
katekoala 13
If you have trouble remembering to take the pill I recommend trying the Nuva ring
RainEliseWolf 16
OPT could also use a birth control implant/stent.
lulinator 40
That was my issue, could never remember to take my pill, switched to Nuva Ring. Caused such debilitating back pain, I couldn't move for four days without being in agony. Finally figured out what caused the pain, took it out, within hours the pain went away. Never again.
kirkaygri 18
There are also hormonal and non-hormonal IUDs. Both have been proven safe for use in woman who haven't had children.
Feklfekl2222 32
The copper IUD is fantastic, absolutely no bother and it lasts ages
little_one 20
I know a girl with a copper iud who got pregnant. Some people are just super fertile.
91hayek 31
Well YOU didn't have sex with him. Your boy has got so many girls he's forgetting who he is getting with and when. There are so many FMLs about wrong names, wrong clothes and wrong birthdays/anniversaries for me to believe this a valid theory.
Anonypus 20
Aw. Poor boy.
Kurby14 21
wow. he needs an upgraded sex education class
abNormal62 23
I take it, that he is easy on the eyes? You can't be with him for the deep meaningful conversations m, can you?
wheresthesafety 31
Copied from NHS Choices... "What if I've missed one pill? If you've missed one pill anywhere in the pack or started a new pack one day late, you're still protected against pregnancy. You should: • take the last pill you missed now, even if this means taking two pills in one day • carry on taking the rest of the pack as normal • take your seven-day pill-free break as normal or, if you're on an Every Day (ED) pill, take your inactive (dummy) pills You don't need to use extra contraception."
EarlFug 19
Well, you should really be more careful about taking your pills. You should also get up early tomorrow, fake morning sickness and stuff a pillow under your shirt.