Today, I drunkenly gave my date road head while he was driving me home. He must have gotten what he wanted, because that was a week ago and he’s totally ghosted me since. I’ve never felt this cheap and nasty and humiliated in my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML
Today, my latest date ended so badly that I was back home by 8 p.m., drunk on cheap wine, and screaming at myself in the mirror, “What is wrong with you?” FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He was funny, laidback, and handsome. We had an amazing time but I declined to go back to his house, not wanting to rush things. He said he understood and respected my choice. Later online he bragged about “banging some cheap slut for the price of a meal.” FML
Today, I went on a date to the movies with this guy I kinda like. When he was driving me home, he asked me to be his girlfriend; I said I couldn’t because it was really bad timing. He kicked me out of the car, called me an asshole, and made me walk home. FML
Today, I went on a first date. He got so drunk he forgot what he ordered to eat ten minutes after ordering. He also had to text me later to ask if we kissed, because he couldn’t remember. FML
Today, after the girl I fell head over heels for asked me out last night, it turns out she was so drunk at the time, she doesn't remember and doesn't want to date me at all. I'm beginning to feel like my life is some shitty movie. FML
Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML
Today, I discovered I'd been ghosted. Last night, I hung out with this guy. We started making out. Everything was going great, then we had sex and it literally lasted 30 seconds because he was done. He got up, got dressed and left and then deleted me off everything. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
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Top comments
slhiggx 17
Good riddance, you know? If he doesn’t like drunk road head from you on the first date, he doesn’t deserve to take you on a second date. Sometimes it’s hard to hold in who we are, sensually. And no shaming here. Don’t be embarrassed for expressing who you are carnally. It’s natural.
RichardPencil 32
Or, it wasn't good road head. To cheap, nasty and humiliated, you can add "bad at ********." This is not your day.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Or, it wasn't good road head. To cheap, nasty and humiliated, you can add "bad at ********." This is not your day.
ayaaya 16
you’re just rude.
RichardPencil 32
The truth is rude. I'm just saying it.
slhiggx 17
The truth isn’t rude. That’s what callous people say when they had no tact.
slhiggx 17
Good riddance, you know? If he doesn’t like drunk road head from you on the first date, he doesn’t deserve to take you on a second date. Sometimes it’s hard to hold in who we are, sensually. And no shaming here. Don’t be embarrassed for expressing who you are carnally. It’s natural.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
You've found a way to get rid of useless dates on first dates, most of us aren't anywhere near that quick if we've decided we like someone.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Never suck dick on a first date. Or in a moving car.
Jonkbaby 23
To be fair, you pulled that card out I'm assuming pretty early
wrenavery90 12
I don't want to sound mean but what did you expect??