Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I kissed my 3.5 GPA goodbye because my English teacher was too caught up planning her parrot's birthday party to put in the credit I deserve for three different essays I completed for her class. FML
Today, I got back the essay I wrote about how my country's education system is fucked. At one point, I made a spelling mistake. My teacher wrote a note about it, basically calling me illiterate, and telling me to pay attention in school instead of whining about it. She misspelled "school". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, it was the last day of school, and I said goodbye to one of my students. She then told me how to correctly pronounce her name. I'd said it wrong all year. FML
Today, one of my classmates got bullied and the whole class got to wrote 2000 words about that. FML
Today, in algebra, I took out my notebook. My Chinese teacher was so impressed with my "Chinese" writings on the cover that I'm now her "favorite student". Those "Chinese" symbols are actually Japanese, but I wanted someone to like me so badly that I didn't correct her. FML
Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML
Today, I’m a middle-school teacher. Handing back graded essays, only to realize halfway through that I’d left my personal notes visible on the projector. One said, “Great kid, but talks like a podcast on 1.5x speed.” The student read it out loud before I could close the tab. FML
Today, I had a Chinese test. Our teacher decided to wait until yesterday to tell us about it because she "knew" we wouldn't study anyway and she didn't want to stress us out. I'm pretty sure I failed. FML
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
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Top comments
MWidderAUDI 14
i bet you swore after that.
hipsterhunter 9
As a speaker of Chinese and Spanish, I can say firsthand that lots of innocent words in a language can end up sounding like others, especially when there's an accent involved and you're not careful. Try to talk to your student and help her understand the meaning of what she said, how it shouldn't be used in a professional setting, etc... and maybe work on her pronunciation! Alternatively, find out who thought it would be funny to teach her that word. Then kick their ass.
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Comments (31)
perdix 31
Today is a good day to start! Tell that ******* bitch that you're pissed off because that silly **** landed you in the shit and deserves a syphilitic **** up her ass! Without swearing, poetry like this would be impossible.
PrincessPesa 20
And god damn those ****-sucking motherfucking saggy-titted bitch ass administrators who made the shit decision to ******* fire OP's unfortunate ass. Lives have officially been ****** by an oral presentation. Whew! And I'm spent.
finnrambo 13
don't ******* swear.... ************.
perdix 31
#18, aw, Princess, I'm your muse! It feels good to be able to mentor the young folk -- I really enjoy giving back to society.
hama806 19
What's the big deal? The "F" word has less shock value than it did years ago. I seemed like a joke. People need to calm down about these things.
hama806 19
*it
Uhscanherdarklee 10
No matter how much shock value it loses I doubt it will ever be considered acceptable in a professional or educational environment.
perdix 31
#16, it is if it's used in a literary sense. If the speech were about a frustrating day and the ******* asshole wanted to use authentic language to describe her shitty experience, she'd end off by shooting off some f-bombs at the conclusion.
meso222 8
It should not be ised unless either: A: You are using it to show how frustration or pain. B: you can use at least three variations of the word in one non runon sentence without ******* it up.
Catkam623 27
For ***** sake, stop ******* commenting you annoying ************?
luminos_ 9
Well, what a ******* day you had.
starw0lf 31
I think someone else has been teaching her English.
poncho55 40
Aw. Maybe you could go try to explain the situation better to your boss/ex-boss. Also, talk to the girl about the inappropriateness of the word "****" and warn her about how, when, and where she should pay closer attention to her choice of words. She may not even realize that's one of our more shocking taboo words of the English language.
anonymous_1918 6
It is not unusual to see the word **** in China on billboards/signs/store fronts. It's almost as their translation of it is to emphasis something. (******* amazing or ******* bad) It's definitely a cultural boundary.
notjanedoe 27
I agree with others that have said that she may not realize how bad that word is in English speaking countries. Maybe you should teach curse words instead of avoiding them and give your students a level of inappropriateness for each one. I know a lot of people who speak English as their second language from many different European countries and the f-word is surprisingly common and used as an emphasis and peppered into conversation. Maybe on the same level as 'damn' for a non-religious person. It's not until you speak with a British or US-American person that you realize how scandalizing many of them find this word.
Needafarm 22
There are also different meanings to the word or something that sounds like it. My cousins once had a French Au Pair who use to go clubbing in Paris and there was a song with the word "****" in it. She would sing this song around a 2, 4 and 11year old. Turns out she thought that it meant the same thing in English as it did in French. A seal.
notjanedoe 27
Agreed, the abbreviation of the French 'University' (faculté) is also pronounced almost exactly like f***. Even if people know that it is a curse word in English they might not feel that it is so bad when it means such a harmless word in their own language.
Schiffy 18
The real problem is people take swears way too seriously in the good ol' US of A. They're words, what's the big ******* deal? To reference George Carlin, there are far more ways to describe swears than there are actually swears. People need to get the **** over it and move on with their lives.
angelitared 27
That's ******* hilarious!!!!!!
ZacZ 8
I mean it sounds like you did a good ******* job to me.