Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML
Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML
Today, while alone in the childcare centre I work at, one of the children farted bad enough to trigger my morning sickness. Because I was alone, I couldn't leave the room, which resulted in me throwing up into a 2-year-old-sized toilet, while 12 toddlers either watched or ran wild. FML
Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public, she needed to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant with my best friend and her 18-month-old. I really had to fart, so I let one go silently, hoping it would go unnoticed. I caught a whiff of it, but so did my friend apparently, because she made a face and then held up her baby to smell her diaper. FML
Today, I accidentally let out a silent but obscenely deadly fart in the doctor's waiting room. It was so foul that a woman got insanely pissed at her kid because she thought he'd shat his pants again. FML
Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML
Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML
Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML
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Top comments
k2cool_87 0
u fart like a guy be proud!!!!!
blah123blah 0
you are human (I am guessing), people fart. I am sure that the mom will not start a website based on everyone who she knows that has farted.
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Comments (54)
maku_fml 0
This is not good, kids are kids. I think you should not do that.
Cristaderzi 0
Well: Flatulation is caused by Bacteria breaking down all that bad stuff in your gut. Though I dunno I guess if your around others a lot then stock up on Beano! As though yes indeed its natural its still nasty as feces after all is waste that even your body refused...
taybaby18 0
uhm, ydi hahaha. :)
sTejaski 0
you dirty cow
HunnyBunch123 0
Lol XD thats lol you could have looked to see if there was a small chile ready to suffocate at your disposal of gas.
ChairForce 0
Are you embarrassed because you farted or because it sounded like her daddy?
kewkiez 0
YDI for working at a kids play centre
unilpentium_2 0
YDI for having chemical reactions in your digestive system that produce carbon dioxide and other gasses that evolution has made your body expel in an efficient manner. You must be the only one in the world who does this. I mean, just don't eat. It's not that hard. Pardon my sarcasm above, but there are a countless number of idiots on this site. Totally not a YDI at all. (Although this hardly means your life sucks...)
happydog8 0
at lease I now know why there is a hole in the ozone lair :D
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That was hilarious! lmao Global warming has been explained! :D
ncvolley123 8
if that was a small fart, I wonder what a big fart sounds like!!!!