Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6 a.m. to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I live in an apartment and all I can hear is my neighbours' bratty kids screaming with their new toys. Not only do I hate kids, making this absolute torture, I also work nights and only fell into bed at 6 a.m. this morning, so that’s 4 hours trying to sleep so far and I’m back at work in 5 hours. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML
Today, my 6-month-old daughter decided she'd scream every time I'd answer her cries instead of her daddy. He just left for a 12-hour shift at work. Only 11 more hours to go. FML
Today, it’s the fifth day in a row that my mom has vacuumed right outside my room, from 5 to 11 AM. Despite this, I still can’t fall asleep before midnight. FML
Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML
Today, after 5 hours of attempting to sleep, I began to finally drift off. Then, some fuckwit who'd parked his car right outside my door took 20 minutes to switch his alarm off. I have to be up in about 4 hours, after a 12-hour night shift, heading into another. FML
Today, my roommate's extremely loud and obnoxious alarm went off six times, waking me up each time, before she finally gave up on hitting the snooze button and went back to sleep for good. FML
Today, my newborn daughter has kept me up all day and all night for the past few days. Usually my husband sleeps. I finally cracked and yelled for his help, only for him to scream at me that he needs sleep and gives her to me anyway. FML
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Top comments
jizzwold 21
Murder is always an option.
Zack6849 8
Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver :D
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Comments (116)
truepanda 2
i would smack the shit out of that kid if i were u. my sleep is more important
SlapAndTickle 20
I wish I could smack some brains back into that empty cavaity you call a skull.
Zack6849 8
Hah, it's funny because he's suggesting abusing a defenseless child!
Spider_Web 11
I like how all these jokes about hitting/shaking the child are downvoted and shunned but one about murder has 50+ upvotes.
queerdragon 20
Yeah, but they never specified who should get murdered. It wasn't specifically related to the child, and the person didn't suggest abusing the kid.
SlapAndTickle 20
Because murdering a kids parents is going to make him shut up? Riiiight.
amisenho 11
@ Spider_Web: jizzwold probably just got popularity thumbs-up. It really had nothing to do with what he said, just a familiar face on FML that people could support with up-votes. I wouldn't give his comment any more credibility than the others with similar fashion or popularity.
kurodansei 16
pacifier. get one. or a mild sedative.
Zack6849 8
Because giving prescription medication to children is a fantastic idea
MidnaLink 35
I think that the sedative is for OP to keep him calm.
annie_nk 23
How hard is it to take the child on a walk or to the park so you can sleep? I hate it when parents think the world should change for their child instead of actually doing anything about it.
Enslaved 38
Those are the same parents that go out to a restaurant and don't take their screaming kid outside! That's right, we all want to hear your demon child screech while I'm trying to enjoy my clam chowder!
perdix 31
If it's every 15 minutes or so, it's not random, it's periodic. Perhaps you ought to plot the screeching times on an Excel chart and give your roommate the graph. I mean, since you won't be sleeping, you might as well brush up your math and computer skills.
WellThatSucked89 13
Random was used as in "for no good damn reason". Not literal.
perdix 31
#24, the OP can't know that without performing a Root Cause Analysis -- yet another skill he could acquire during his sleep-deprivation torture.
Spider_Web 11
@24: It was a joke, not literal
fwongraven 10
If you houseshare you don't have the right to bring in disruptive guests. I'd consider finding a new roommate if yours is that rude.
ViviMage 40
Hotel time, or some actual parenting!
theonecasey 27
I hate room mates
Obey_StudBoii 23
Your roommates guest has poor parenting skills. People that continuously let their children scream or cry for no reason need to figure out a solution. Not just let your kid cry. I may get thumbed down for this comment but I don't care. Best of luck OP.
skyeyez9 25
The child could have colic and that makes a kid scream inconsolably.
alycion 39
While some parents grow numb to the sound of their tittie feeders and don't try to fix the problem, others are dealing with issues that no matter what, nothing can be done. I know some mentioned walks or car rides, but the situation may not lend itself to that being an option. I'm sure when the roommate offered for this person to stay, they didn't think this would be a problem. But now that it is, it is worth everyone taking a few minutes to put their heads together and come up with a solution. Ear plugs with white noise does do wonders though op. Covers up my husband's snoring which is almost as loud and annoying as a baby's scream.
cooney7 3
Whenever they need sleep or are having a nap, do the same as the child. Record yourself wailing and screaming and hide them in hard to get to places. Trust me, it works.
kandy420 4
I'd ask them to leave thats disrespectful of your roommate to allow that.