Today, my hotel room key wouldn't open my door. Maintenance had to come let me in. My giant dildo was out on the table. I'm a 250-pound man, traveling alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I needed to relax, so I ordered room service at my hotel. When I was finished, I went to put the tray outside, not thinking about needing a key to get back in. I locked myself out of my room, wearing smiley face underwear in a $250 a night hotel. I had to go to the lobby to get a new key. FML
Today, I spent at least 10 minutes trying to get into my hotel room because my key card wouldn't work. I finally went to the front desk, where they came along with me, then politely informed me I was trying to open the room next door to mine. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML
Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML
Today, I walked into my hotel room, took off my coat and started unpacking. Ten minutes later, an older couple walked in, holding luggage. I'd gone into THEIR room. The receptionist gave me the wrong fob. They were surprisingly calm, but I had to explain why I’d already used one of their towels. FML
Today, I was in my family's hotel room taking a dump. The lock to the bathroom was broken so we had made a deal: when the door is closed, someone is using the toilet. The maid didn't know that. She punched me in the face because she claimed I scared her. FML
Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML
Today, I was showering at my dorm. I had my clothes locked in a locker and my towel and robe hanging outside the stall. Someone took off with my towel and robe, which had my keys. I had to walk down three flights of stairs to get an extra key in nothing but a plastic shower curtain. FML
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Top comments
coolrunnings1021 14
embarrassing but its nobodies business what you do in private
red6joker 8
As a hotel worker. I can tell you that he has seen worse.
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Comments (8)
Plop 17
Just tell them it's for medical reasons because you're incontinent and need to "seal the exit". That way you'll completely save face!
coolrunnings1021 14
embarrassing but its nobodies business what you do in private
red6joker 8
As a hotel worker. I can tell you that he has seen worse.
princess_stabitty 20
Your huge ***** is at the rear end of the shocking stuff the maintenance guy had seen.
geerod 16
Your never alone if you have your *****!
Matt Much 12
You get accustomed to it after a couple times. I own one of the dolls and live in an apartment. I'm sure maintenance has seen it and when the police do the door to door "how's the neighborhood" event, they have seen it. Plus, as a mechanic, I can say I wish I only saw ****** in cars. I've seen WAY worse.
Zebediabolical 45
Probably not even the wierdest thing he saw that day.
IHaveThePower 18
Be proud you have a sex life that's actually satisfying instead of kowtowing to modern Puritans.