Embarrassing, Insects and Animals: Jumpy

Jumpy

By Anonymous - 21/05/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting at my college campus; there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML

agreeclassic 19 569

vote type 1 63 626

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Panic at the crosswalk

By Butterflyguy - 14/08/2009 17:10 - Canada

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

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By tryscal - 12/07/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

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By Lala - 10/09/2009 13:40 - Philippines

Today, I was sitting in my garden and having a cup of tea while watching some dragonflies. I thought the dragonflies were really pretty, so I ran towards them and tried to catch their tails like I used to when I was a kid. They were exotic wasps. Ouch. FML

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By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

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Ewwww

By jamblasticus - 09/05/2009 01:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the park when I saw an attractive girl walking nearby. I approached her to strike up a conversation when suddenly a large fly invaded my left nostril, and became lodged inside. After picking out the bloody fly pieces, I looked up to see the girl walking away, gagging. FML

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By Anonymous - 11/09/2010 04:01 - United States

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

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By gabby - 24/02/2012 23:01 - United States

Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML

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Caught in the act

By Anonymous - 14/01/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I was on the computer in the library on campus. I was Facebook-stalking a really cute girl that I often see on campus. As I'm looking at her profile pictures, I turn around and the girl is standing right behind me. She gave me a disgusted look and walked off. FML

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By outofluckdude - 01/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML

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Brain melt

By Anonymous - 03/03/2010 02:37 - United States

Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML

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uneekfreak16 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

Are you the same guy with the FML who smashed his own nuts when he got scared and saw a spider on them?

hyper12332 0

Thursday 21 May 2009 9:31

haha you little pussy

Comments

wish_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 10:29

Lmao at the image that popped in my head...

calicokitea 0

Friday 29 May 2009 16:58

aww, don't call him retarded, I thought this was sweet!!!!!!!!!! Funny, but sweet.

TwistedTime 0

Friday 29 May 2009 18:47

I did that once, though I was trying to impress some boys..and it was a moth not a butterfly...XD

SS240 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 1:22

Wait... you're trying to pick up girls with a smile to let them know you're available? Try talking to them. YDI

jewjewbee 6

Tuesday 2 June 2009 11:33

I don't blame you. Butterflies are ******* evil.

goldie_fml 2

Sunday 7 June 2009 8:55

This is my all time favorite... I love it!

Masta_Blasta 0

Friday 12 June 2009 9:55

:facepalm:

mister_moops 0

Friday 12 June 2009 23:42

i bet they know you're available judging by how much of a pussy you are.

sun_babe 0

Monday 15 June 2009 14:50

Please illustrate this! It would be so awesome.

HunterFalls13 0

Thursday 18 June 2009 23:57

Ahahhahahaha Wow:D I bet they Really noticed you after that:D

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Keywords

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Top

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vote type 1 272

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

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vote type 1 3 086

Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML

agreeclassic 6 226

vote type 1 744

Today, I was going through my mom's closet. On one of the shelves, I found two baby books. One was mine, the other was one for a dog she owned before I was born. I looked through them both. The dog's baby book was filled out more than mine was. FML

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Today, I ordered some food and included a slice of cheesecake. However, I think they glued the Tupperware lid together and I didn't actually want to launch the cheesecake into the air when I finally got it open. FML

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vote type 1 133

Today, my roommate spends so much time in our dorm room that I got a boner when I heard him leaving for class, because it was my first chance in days to jack off in peace. FML

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