Today, I saw a bat in a cabinet. I slammed the cabinet as hard as I could, which knocked the bat off the door and got its head stuck between the two doors, decapitating it. Its two beady eyes were judging me. I haven't even had my coffee yet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 1:30 a.m., a big ass bat squeezed its nasty body through the bottom crack of the door. My sweet little Corgi cowered on the bed as the bat flew circles around my head. I'll be moving now. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I experienced the fright of a lifetime when I woke up and heard my bedroom door opening. Fearing that there was an intruder, I picked up a bat and opened the door, ready to whack the mystery intruder. There was no one there. No one, except my cat, who apparently knows how to open doors now. FML
Today, I've been awake since 3 a.m. Why? A bat flew into the house and made its way to my bedroom. We haven't been able to find it. FML
Today, I opened the cabinet to take a pill for my headache. After taking the pill, I turned around and smashed my head on the open cabinet door. FML
Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML
Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
Today, a bat flew into my house. We locked it in my brother's room, complete with cats, and just barely got it back outside alive. We later found out it was an endangered species, so we also narrowly avoided arrest. FML
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Top comments
legalgravethief 8
Why? Bats are lovely! I hope your coffee is forever burnt and salty!
RichardPencil 32
And that's how a coronavirus pandemic begins...
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
And that's how a coronavirus pandemic begins...
legalgravethief 8
Why? Bats are lovely! I hope your coffee is forever burnt and salty!
Nhayaa2.0 17
WTF?! That's all I have to say.
justwanttobesocial...butalsonot 9
This is horrifying but also hilarious and idk how to even begin to respond to this 😅 poor bat.... also sorry you had to experience that, it sounds awful...
Taurus_ChicKa 37
OMG that's horrible! The poor bat!!! :( I had a bat in my house twice and didn't harm it at all... there were better ways to deal with that, you know. RIP, little bat.