missmom83
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Torrington, United States
Jam it in my ears
Today, my toddler found my daughter's recorder from third grade and figured out how to play the highest-pitched note. Of course, my daughter pulls out her trombone to have a jam session. And I'm out of Ibuprofen. FML
Top comments
LCPLStewie 23
I'll get my trumpet, my brother knows the sax! lets get vocals in on this and get a band going!
Zelphoric 25
Is mayonnaise an instrument? I'll bring some.
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Comments (59)
Clay_Pidgeon 11
It sounds like you're not doing to well
meepmerp 20
Really? How did you come up with with that conclusion?
incoherentrmblr 22
I guess your kids are all of out of f**ks to give as well...
Clay_Pidgeon 11
OH NO I FAILED!!!! I was trying to make a pun with the word "sounds" and I ****** up. I'm sorry...
gingaa96 18
Try OxyContin.. That's pretty powerful
zandalee 20
Or try and get them to go and play with instruments outside in garden or in garage.
Realism 4
Not very helpful advice, I eventually became reliant on several variants of Oxy including OxyContin so no please do not try it
Perfectly_Killer 14
Or a rope
LCPLStewie 23
I'll get my trumpet, my brother knows the sax! lets get vocals in on this and get a band going!
Zelphoric 25
Is mayonnaise an instrument? I'll bring some.
hellnosucka 27
I'll be the bassist although I've never touched that instrument before. but based on OP's description, my skill level seems fitting enough.
rocker_chick105 31
What about horseradish?
Attacksloth 33
Good that we have a mayonnaise player onboard... was afraid we wouldn't find one in time.
Chris93Jones 20
I have a clarinet somewhere around here lol, I doubt you need it though with all the woodwind instruments there already
CrikOgresmasher 19
I'll be the groupie
Zelphoric 25
No worries 28, I've been playing the mayonnaise professionally for 14 years. Im quite the player.
hellnosucka 27
Excellent. Now that were have enough players in our bandit, we must conquer the world... I've also heard that maiyonaise is an exquisite choice of weaponry.
cakefete2 31
Can you guys play for my daughter's birthday party? When you do the birthday song include the "mayo wishes come true" verse. That should be a sick solo for your mayonnaise player.
ElementaryEdGuy 18
Too lazy to read this, but I'll play clarinet if needed!
braidedsilver 8
I play flute and piano, we can put my toddler on the piano to accompany hers.
KingreX32 21
The name of your band should be Chinaferarrisexorgydeathcrash
chutney_02 22
#58 *ChinaferarriSAXorgydeathcrash
maggiefox 25
I play clarinet! Let's get some more woodwinds in on this!
warsun 27
Can't wait your your next show
skittle_QUEEN_YO 15
Im a good vocalist if you ever need a lead singer also every good band has atleast 2 tromboners
incoherentrmblr 22
Add Epic Sax Guy & Ron Burgundy to it and it'll be a good smooth jazz session...
KK3137 31
Hold on, I'll get my electric triangle!
whatsername3114 11
I play the trombone too! you can never have enough horns!!! Any Tuba?
False_Stupidity 42
I've got my air guitar, i'm in!
Thinkfaster 6
Man that quote was from ages ago
tiptoppc 21
I’ll bring my washboard. Been needing to do laundry anyways and might as well kill two birds with one stone.
thatgirlc 10
shoulda had it put up
Attacksloth 33
Try duct tape and night time cough syrup... for the kid, of course.
chutney_02 22
Time to get that flute out!
andrekrivo 20
sounds like you're annoyed by your kids
Zelphoric 25
Are you sure? I thought she sounded really happy? :p
Nimmrodel 11
This is the type of situation top shelves were invented for.
BradTheBrony 19
It wasn't the OP's recorder, it was her daughter's. Wherever it was was probably where the daughter put it.
krabbyrapist 12
Trombone is cool though
corruption44 4
Gotta suck being a parent when you can't even handle a little noise.
stargirl_95 24
I'm pretty sure that a trombone and a recorder played on its highest note make more than "a little" noise.