Today, I have watched the Elmo's World episode featuring balls ten times in a row. The toddler I'm watching screams if I put on something different. His mom just said she was stuck in traffic. She should be back in about five and a half more replays. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my supervisor was watching a video of his son. I heard a voice in the background and asked if it was Elmo. It was his wife. FML
Today, yet again, whenever I try to put on music in the car, my son starts chanting, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" to the tune of whatever I put on. It's been almost six months and it's driving me fucking crazy. FML
Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly six minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML
Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's "Mambo Number 5" on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML
Today, I drove 12 hours with 6 screaming little girls. They were arguing about things that should've been in the Lego movie. They watched it 4 times. FML
Today, it's been three days since my mom starting ranting the about the "obscenity" of the Super Bowl halftime show. FML
Today, my mom's response to everything is now screaming. Two year-old brother playing quietly? Screaming. Computer freezes? Screaming. Mailman? Screaming. We tried to get her tested but no doctor can stand her for more than ten minutes. FML
Today, my three year-old son excitedly went to the window to watch the construction site next door. He does this all the time and it's adorable… at least, it was until a man got run over by a bulldozer with him watching. He screamed for hours and now cries if I don't keep the curtains closed. FML
Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML
Today, my child is so super clingy and needy, I have to sit and watch her bounce on the trampoline attentatively or else face hours and hours of whining. She's like the Screamapillar from the Simpsons. FML
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Top comments
musdesimd 18
I guess i should b grateful that my son likes 2 movies, cars & cars 2; much longer, less repetition
iwanttogotoparis 26
I feel for you dude, i don't like kids at the best of times
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Comments (45)
iwanttogotoparis 26
I feel for you dude, i don't like kids at the best of times
PG7 8
Did you go too Paris?
marcranger 29
I'm not sure there is a "best of times" when it comes to little kids. My cousin has a toddler, and even the things that are supposed to be cute are straight-up annoying to me. I can't imagine being around one on a constant basis.
laden_swallow09 35
Yeah, they're only cute and funny when you don't have to live with them, amirite?
hoeslikedicks 21
You should cut the cables and tell them the Cookie Monster came and ate Elmo
Chikiriwak 17
Wouldn't that make him scream more?
musdesimd 18
I guess i should b grateful that my son likes 2 movies, cars & cars 2; much longer, less repetition
Atrius82 16
My son loves that Elmo episode too. After watching it about 100 times, I'm convinced someone in that writing/production crew won a bet about how many times they could say 'balls' on a kids show.
StupidUsername89 23
Wow you need a ******* trophy. Congrats for not dying out (I hope)
doemetoch 28
Most toddlers are easily distracted by new activities. If you can't stand watching the same thing over and over again, just put on something else, or engage them in some other activity than watching TV. They'll scream for a while, but it probably won't last long.
bronxiecat777 14
I feel him I remember that episode it was great.
dhiran_singh 16
Try SpongeBob SquarePants :D I'm sure he'll luv it!! :)
Chikiriwak 17
This is gonna be in your dreams for the next week
LordVaper 14
That's your choice, toddlers don't cry forever. When my son was little we either watched something new or did not watch at all
ApparentlyNotEno 28
When did children become the ones in charge? Seriously, OP, grow a pair... you are reinforcing their bold behaviour by allowing the child to dictate the situation.