Today, at a business BBQ my dad introduced my older brother to his boss as "Dr Brother", my younger sister as "CEO Sister," and then me as "Beautiful Daughter." That was it, I’m his pretty daughter, just because I became a primary school teacher, and disappointed him so disgracefully. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, I accidentally called my boss "Mom." Now she is jokingly telling everyone that I'm the long-lost daughter she gave up for adoption, because she knew I'd be a failure. FML
Today, my dad introduced me to my half-sister. He'd only recently found out that he had another daughter by another woman, and had only just met her. She and I have been in the same class in school for the past three years. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, our little family business was asked to do a presentation at my daughter's school. When we got there and I saw her, I waved to her happily but she totally blanked me, plus my super strict mom smacked me on the back of the head for embarrassing her by not acting professionally while I was technically working. FML
Today, I met some guys from my dad's workplace. They told him what a pretty daughter he had, to which he responded, "Nah, it's just shit-loads of makeup." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant when I heard a young girl telling her father she didn't think she was pretty. When I got up to leave, I walked past her table and told her she was beautiful. Her dad then punched me in the face. FML
Today, I realized that the only boy who ever called me pretty was my 5-year-old brother. My sister then scolded him for lying. FML
Today, I got my first big promotion at work. Excited, I shared the news with my parents. My mom responded with, "That’s nice, dear, but your sister just got engaged," and hung up to go back to celebrating with her. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like he was trying to marry you off to his boss.
HayNow 11
Ok it's not that serious. She can just tell him that Teaching is a very noble career and that being around other peoples brats all day is a job a lot of people can't handle. She can also start introducing him as "Hard to please dad", "Insufferable Father", or "This loser dude that fu*ked my mother" ......
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Comments (3)
RichardPencil 32
Sounds like he was trying to marry you off to his boss.
HayNow 11
Ok it's not that serious. She can just tell him that Teaching is a very noble career and that being around other peoples brats all day is a job a lot of people can't handle. She can also start introducing him as "Hard to please dad", "Insufferable Father", or "This loser dude that fu*ked my mother" ......