Today, it was my son's fifth birthday. I asked my grandmother, who is a baker, to make a birthday cake for the party. Two hours after the party started, she arrived drunk with a large ham with candles in it. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got up at 5 am to bake a surprise birthday cake for my 16-year-old son. I put the cake on the table and went to call my son. "Surprise!" When I came back 30 seconds later, the cake was all gone and the dog was licking his lips. My son won't even believe I made a cake. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
Today, it was my friend's birthday, so I baked him a cake complete with his name written on it in homemade frosting. After I gave it to him, his mother berated me for it, saying I should have checked with her first before making a cake for her son. He's 28. FML
Today, it's my mom's birthday. I woke up at midnight to be the first to tell her happy birthday. When I awoke in the morning, I decided to bake her a cake. Little did I know my whole family was going out to lunch to celebrate. I wasn't invited. FML
Today, I made a very pretty sunflower cake that I woke up incredibly early to make. It took me hours and a lot of money. It was for my grandparents anniversary and my whole family was invited. We only got to see the remains because the waiter gave it to the wrong family, and they ate it. FML
Today, I was having my birthday party. My dad showed up late, blind drunk, and drove his car straight through my garage door. FML
Today, a coworker left a chocolate cake on the "free food" table in the office. I had a slice. She's just called to ask if she left her grandmother's birthday cake at work. She made it from scratch. Now I'm baking a new cake in the office kitchen. FML
Today, I was at my sixteenth birthday party. My guests consisted of my grandma who I live with, and my 2-year-old cousin she was babysitting. FML
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Top comments
abbyycarper 13
Well you at least got ham
Crazafon 19
She obviously isn't a baker, but she sure is baked!
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Comments (82)
blackman100 20
Am I seriously the only one thinking that a woman with a great-grandchild shouldn't be allowed any booze at all?
kate3101 15
Yeah, I think you are. Personally I hope to still enjoy a drink when I'm older without being judged by ignorant kids.
Zackthar 0
You didn't hit grandma did you?
ViviMage 40
Bacon strip icing yes please!?!?
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
She's just preparing your son for future disappointment in life. I hate to say it but that's probably not gonna be his worst birthday
migueljm5 18
If you want something done right then you have to do it yourself apparently. FYL
PhishloverA 14
I thought it was gonna be a penis shaped cake
cho_bee 9
This is where I want to channel my inner Python, hmmmm, how about Eric Idle: Don't know, 'coulda been worse. 'Coulda been a drunk pig with candles on it.
laureennrosee 3
I shouldn't be laughing this hard
FeedTheStache 13
Well at least you get a ham and a hilarious story to tell your friends! Sorry about the cake though, fyl.
Count_Coolness 26
Dang! I'd love a ham instead of cake for my birthday!