Today, I playfully drew thick eyebrows on my one-year-old son to make him look like a cartoon villain. He laughed cutely in the mirror as I took some adorable pictures. When my husband saw, he threw such a horrendous fit about boys and makeup, I was reduced to tears. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was showering, my 3 year-old son came to the bathroom and put on all my makeup. Once I got out of the shower, I got a camera I had and took a few adorable shots. Afterwards, I sent the images to all my friends and family. Then I realized the reflection on the mirror was me fully naked. FML
Today, my six-year-old son told me my makeup looks like his grandmother's did in the casket. FML
Today, my sister gave me a makeover. I protested, but she insisted it'd look great. After an eternity of eyebrow plucking, she handed me the mirror. I now have extremely badly-drawn sharpie eyebrows. FML
Today, my 4-year-old son cut half of my hair when I was asleep because he thought I would look better that way. FML
Today, my wife told my 7-year-old son that he looks just like me. He began crying and said, "I don't want to be ugly like him." FML
Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML
Today, my toddler proudly presented me a "beautiful drawing" he'd made... on my freshly painted living room wall. When I started to scold him, he said, "But I made it for YOU, Mommy!" Now I feel guilty for being mad at Picasso Jr, and having to paint over it. FML
Today, I asked my kids if I looked good before going to work. Smiling, they told me I looked wonderful. It wasn't until I got to work and looked into the mirror until I noticed my left eyebrow was gone. FML
Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4 1/2 year old daughter. When we got to the cosmetics aisle, she asked what make-up was for, I told her it was to make women prettier. My daughter then told me it was a good thing I wear make-up because I was ugly and that I might scare off my husband. FML
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Top comments
Jeremy Strang 7
How do so many people end up so deep into relationships without realizing just how homophobic/misogynistic/racist/etc their partners are? What did you talk about before you got engaged, got married, conceived, gave birth and started raising a kid? The weather?
ahabsfan 17
He must not fare well come Halloween time with so many males with faces decorated.
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Comments (12)
Raymas 4
Fragile masculinity
Hangryko 32
Please tell me you left him and got full custody of your child.