Today, while on an airboat exploring the Everglades, my cousin decided it would be funny to push me off the boat. Into water full of alligators. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on vacation with my family, I went parasailing. Just as I was about to take off, the wind picked up and I got blown off course. I ended up crashing into a boat and had to be rescued by the coastguard. FML
Today, I was kayaking with my friend. We figured it'd be awesome if I jumped from my kayak straight into his. Sounded good in theory. One flipped kayak, a pair of lost glasses, and a humiliating swim back to shore later, I'm starting to think it wasn't the best idea. FML
Today, while playing golf, I hit my ball near some tall grass along the edge of the water. Unbeknownst to me, there was an alligator hiding in the grass. He growled at me during my shot, causing me to put the ball directly into the pond. Alligator: 1 Me: 0. FML
Today, I went with my family to visit my aunt, who lives on a farm. My brother told me that cows are ticklish and convinced me to go up and tickle one of the cows. The cow clearly wasn’t a fan, and I ended up being chased right into a lake. FML
Today, I started my new job as a repossession agent. While attempting to repo a boat, we came across a young couple. The woman was very annoying, and even hit another agent, so I threatened to throw her in the water if she touched him again. I ended up in the water instead. FML
Today, my friend and I went boating. In the middle of the lake, we decided to jump in. We put our valuables in the boat and jumped in. When I tried to get back in the boat, it flipped over, and our cellphones, along with my car keys, are at the bottom of the lake. FML
Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Boyufd 25
Did he say: "see you later, alligator!" when he pushed you off?
Zekfen 17
They are more scared of you than you are of them! Or was that snakes?
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Comments (20)
Zekfen 17
They are more scared of you than you are of them! Or was that snakes?
IAmClay 24
I think that’s snakes
queenwolfblood 8
are you ok? and please tell me you got back at him for doing that
Donut_Wizard 23
And at that moment, Tim’s life flashed before his eyes... and became bored.
Boyufd 25
Did he say: "see you later, alligator!" when he pushed you off?
Lobby_Bee 18
It's funny cause they aren't alligators, they are crocodiles.
Jerilynn Trice 6
Actually both types of reptiles live in the Glades.
kaitlinfree 22
actually they’re alligators.
mcdgaf 14
Well, no, they are not all alligators in the everglades. Part of the conservation funding for that ever glorious national park comes from the fact that people want to conserve the natural habitat of the native reptilian. Meaning the effort is to preserve the American alligator, which has range of many southern states in the continental US; but also to conserve the habitat of the American crocodile, which is only found in the southernmost part of Florida. While it is easy to confuse the American crocodile with the Cuban crocodile, (And here's the kicker) only the American crocodile is indigiousnous to America. The Cuban crocodile is actually endangered right now because they are being pushed out of their habitats by other predators. There is a huge conservation effort in Cuba at this time to conserve the species. To get back to Murica though, we have crocs, and they scary boo.
Carl'sRightEye 5
seeing as you posted this, it means that you ate still alive. maybe they thought you one of their own and you can command a on army of alligators to sic on your cousin.
Glowworm56 27
Unfortunately the only ones who found it funny were your cousin and the alligators.
empbob 20
And suddenly then telling everyone to wear the seatbelts makes perfect sense...
RichardPencil 32
It would’ve been funny if the audience took the bait.
jello_bellied_snack_snapper 19
yup...he ded