Today, the accredited funeral home of my memorial plan is going out of business. Instead of delegating my policy to a different firm, they gave me the package. I now have to take home a land title for where I will be buried, my own coffin, and my headstone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML
Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML
Today, my father gave me the best birthday gift, a piece of real estate. I got a grave, which is leased. FML
Today, my best friend died in a car accident. I'm currently on a cruise with my family and my parents refuse to pay for me to go home early, which means I'm likely going to miss the funeral. FML
Today, I went to the cemetery to visit a friend. As I was looking for his burial plot, I fell into a dug out grave and had to call my partner to come help me get out. FML
Today, I attended my mom's funeral, who was the only person who ever truly supported me. During the funeral, the cemetery representative told me he was sure the hole was dug to specification, while at the same moment the casket got caught on the ground and tipped, dropping her 6ft down. FML
Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML
Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML
Today, I found out that 15 years ago my father threw out my college acceptance letters so that I could stay home and take over the family's funeral home business. FML
Today, my grandma bought me a cemetery plot for my birthday. If that's not weird enough, it's about a two-minute walk from where the rest of my family will be buried. FML
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Top comments
Leeono 26
Sounds like a grave mistake and I’m dead serious when I say you should dig up more info on what you can do.
rattyrayvn 21
Just leave them lying around for when you bring dates home. Goths will love it.
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Comments (12)
dexter420 21
That will save so much money. Have the service at your house and have a nice setup in the back yard with a cook out!
wrenavery90 12
I'd love to know how old you are.