Today, my parents took my to hospital with headache, cramps, sweats and tremors. The doctor thought I was an drug addict in withdrawal, which, after some questions, turns out I am. I gave up fizzy soda last week and am in total withdrawal from caffeine and all the other addictive chemicals in soda. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have a massive paradox on my hands. My doctor told me to stop drinking so much tea to combat my sleeplessness, and it worked. Until now. I went to the doctor again to figure out why it suddenly stopped working, and she told me the reason I can't sleep now is because I have caffeine withdrawal. FML
Today, I woke up with one of the worst migraines I've had in months. My mother (who thinks I'm a hypochondriac) began to scream at me about "making up an illness". When I asked for my meds, she called me an addict, and dumped my $300 prescription down the sink. FML
Today, I was trying to ease off a caffeine headache. I ended up getting a Brain Freeze. FML
Today, I was at work and got chest pains and a headache so bad, I vomited. My supervisor took my blood pressure twice and it was dangerously high both times. I went to the hospital, and after 3 hours of waiting, I got the most expensive lecture ever on drinking too many energy drinks. FML
Today, after being sick and not having coffee for a month, my body has invented a new way of processing caffeine: The tiredness and lethargy remains untouched, while the caffeine-jolt is converted directly into a fuzzy headache. FML
Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML
Today, I woke up with a nasty cough. My mother gave me cough syrup for it. After about 30 minutes, I was dizzy, nauseous, and high as a fucking kite. Turns out the cough syrup reacts badly with my prescription medications, making me even sicker than I already was. FML
Today, I can't drink coffee anymore due to its turbo-diarrhea effect on me. I also have to take something with caffeine everyday or I will have a migraine, so I drink Diet Coke. Today, I saw on TV that even two cans of soda a week erase the heart health gains made during exercise. Goodbye, healthy hearth. FML
Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple of times after school. FML
Today, after spending over a year getting clean and sober, I started feeling horrible withdrawal symptoms and couldn't understand why. It turns out my wife had been dosing my food with Adderall "to keep me on track" and just stopped. So much for my anniversary chip. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Yudith 28
Nowadays, there are some caffeine chews available that you can use to replace the caffeine in the sodas. There's also a caffeinated non-fizzy drink available in grocery stores, called "coffee".
FluffythePink 23
It's when you end up like this that you realise how bad caffeinated, sugar packed fizz actually is for you. Good luck finding a replacement and don't go back. You'll feel a lot better.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (2)
Yudith 28
Nowadays, there are some caffeine chews available that you can use to replace the caffeine in the sodas. There's also a caffeinated non-fizzy drink available in grocery stores, called "coffee".
FluffythePink 23
It's when you end up like this that you realise how bad caffeinated, sugar packed fizz actually is for you. Good luck finding a replacement and don't go back. You'll feel a lot better.