Today, I managed to not laugh as a potential high-profile Italian client with a heavy accent repeatedly pronounced "sheet metal" as "shit metal". Unfortunately, my boss and a senior colleague couldn't contain their own laughter. We lost that deal, and our jobs are now endangered. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss and I were preparing a lunch order for a nearby real-estate agency. I noticed that the order was riddled with spelling mistakes, so I laughed and mocked the realtors, calling them stupid and incompetent. My boss then pointed out that the order was written in his handwriting. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, for some reason, I called my boss "Mum" in a meeting. To make it worse, I panicked and followed it up with, “Can I have a raise?” Everyone laughed except my boss. FML
Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML
Today, while on my break at work, my workmates convinced me to perform my "Indian accent" piece. Everyone laughed while I was doing it. Everyone, that is, but my Indian boss. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, a client came in and was struggling to speak properly. He said, “Sorry, no good English” so I offered a Spanish speaking colleague who could assist. He frowned and said he was from Greece. He threw a fit and got my manager involved. I got a write up and have to do an online sensitivity training. FML
Today, I got pulled off a hugely important project, all because I accidentally spelled "country" as "cuntry" in an email to our client. FML
Today, I’m a recent immigrant and finally felt confident enough to make a joke at work in my second language. During a meeting, I meant to say, “This deadline is tight,” but I said, “This deadline is aggressive.” The room went silent. My manager slowly replied, “The deadline is not mad at you.” FML
Today, I got really excited at work over a deal I was about to close. I got up and started performing a rather obscene hip thrust only to notice a client sitting in the glass meeting room. FML
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Top comments
SpreadTHEKILLER 14
Well "Sheet"
heart_aussie_fml 20
At least they can't blame you, you managed to stay professional.
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Comments (55)
ELoni_fml 25
Why is YOUR job on the line when THEY messed up?! :(
91hayek 31
because seniority is a bitch. Everyone gets the blame, but only the boss gets credit for anything good.
brandoneyez1 25
By association unfortunately. In any work environment the boss is head of department and if said boss causes a mishap, it's like they all did as a group. Some companies won't distinguish the difference.
Alexeon 9
Unfortunately that's the way the world works. I've never seen a manager take responsibility for anything he/she has done wrong. Chances are his boss will lie about the situation to save himself.
False_Stupidity 42
It could also be that the company was relying on that contract to stay afloat and OP meant that now everyone's job is on the line (not just OP and the laughers) because of the lost contract.
todlich 4
"Sheet" rolls down hill.
91hayek 31
What sort of business is this? Some teenagers trying to recycle metal with Italians? Your boss and co-workers need to grow up. Sorry that you're in trouble as well though.
INeedAUserNamr 13
If you've watched certain episodes of south park you'd expect that pronunciation from and Asian (No offense)
Nilorak 24
Huh?
shay_serendipity 29
Okay, #14, two things: 1) Some offense was taken. Saying 'no offense' basically translates that what you wrote was offensive in some way 2) your comment didn't have much relation to the FML, so... What and why? Yeah, I'm Asian, and yes it's partially true for certain types with strong Asian accents, but the fact that you just HAD to bring it up that point directly is kind of offensive. Like, it's not just us with strong accents that mess up some words, so you shouldn't singularly pick Asians out. (I'll risk the incoming down votes. I don't have a stick up my ass or anything, I just thought I needed to speak my opinion here)
nemcali 34
How old are they? 12yo? And let me guess none of those laughing morons speak any other languages, right? I really hope they all get fired
Nilorak 24
Saying yes? No? Doesn't make it any funnier ;)
llamarrama01 21
You're in deep sheet.
vikky538 29
one mans laugh coets other mans job... in this case its your sheety boss.. sorry OP ...they dint deserve to be working with you..
CurlyQute 17
Well at least it wasn't your fault. Your were the professional one
kingdomgirl94 29
That's won't save his job for losing the deal though. Small comforts are no comfort at a time like this.
kingdomgirl94 29
... Clearly the first word there should not contain '"s". Damn you mobile.
nikko0328 9
ben merda!
buckdharma 38
Sorry to hear you're up sheets crick.