Today, I had to spend a depressingly long time convincing my 29-year-old husband that our house isn't haunted and that the door slammed shut because it was windy outside. I repeat, "29-year-old husband" and "haunted". It's like I'm married to a child. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was visiting my friend's new house and he was showing me around. I saw a small door in the wall and decided to open it. When I opened it, his daughter was hiding in there and screamed to scare me. Now I know my scream is more high pitched than his daughter's. I'm a 37 year old male. FML
Today, my new neighbor informed me with great relish that the house I have just bought is haunted because 30 years ago a man shot himself in the kitchen. I'm now paying a huge mortgage on a house I'm frightened to be alone in. FML
Today, my 10-year-old son told my 5-year-old daughter that we're a ghost family, and told her to run through our glass door to see for herself. She believed it, ran straight into the door, and ended up having to be taken to hospital. FML
Today, I stepped outdoors for a minute. The wind blew the door shut, locking me outside. I've spent the last two hours pounding frantically on the windows, trying to wake my 4 year old son who is inside. I can see him sleeping soundly on the couch. FML
Today, I was heading to the bathroom when I clearly saw a little boy walking into my bedroom. My wife and I live alone, and I screamed at the top of my lungs, thinking he was a ghost. Turns out my wife collected him from school for a friend, and I just didn't hear them arrive. FML
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
Today, long after ten years ago when I answered the door to someone asking if my mummy and daddy were home, and I was 24 and it was my house, I just now got asked if my 30 year-old sister was my daughter. Time has not been kind to me. FML
Today, my husband is convinced that he inherited a house in Florida and wants us to move there. I cannot convince him that it's clearly an internet scam. FML
Today, I got stumped by a childproof door. Twice. FML
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Top comments
elladonald 17
You could have just gone along with it and made him even more scared
may14th 26
To be fair, that's also what they blame it on in scary movies.
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Comments (111)
CandyApple88 13
OP married him. You knew what he was like and still married him anyway. Think of him as practice for any children you will have.
brenton490 19
None believers always die first...
Urpoppy 21
Was he really much brighter before you married him?!
wordygirl 11
Ghosts are indeed real! After living in our house for 14 years of no ghosts, we did a major remodel of said 160 year old house. The craziness that followed had us put the house for sale. Running upstairs and slamming doors. We had no children and that was just the beginning. Sorry I never believed either till we woke one up.
aussiedancer 6
You know some people have real fears of this stuff.....
Bebbo_fml 21
Casper was only hoping to make new friends.
GeminiGalaxies 13
Nah mate, your shit is haunted
Tannasgh 22
Perhaps Mulder and Scully could give him a good smack upside the head...
brelee21 8
I don't think it's appropriate to call your husband a child just because he's scared of hauntings. A lot of people are scared of hauntings that are adults not only children.
yellowzinnias 20
I am agnostic and consider myself a supreme skeptic. That being said, I lived for a year with a ghost in my old place, and I could see her as plainly as I can see the keys on my keyboard at this moment. I'm 32. I don't think it's appropriate to ridicule your husband.