Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
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Comments (94)
Amz1200 17
Just because it looks cute and cuddly definitely does not mean that it is! next time I would listen to the boss if I were you
ZaiopePerSe 15
You're an idiot, congrats
philbatronicus 3
1. Don't underestimate cats 2. Listen to your boss.
Davyrock123 6
Not to be too mean, but bitch, what did your boss JUST SAY?
Guy1009 15
He wouldn't have said it, if it wasn't true.
Catdragon 40
If you want to befriend it, give it small amounts of raw meat or treats. Don't force it. Talk sweetly to it, but do not touch it. Eventually, it may warm up to you. Ferals turned domesticated are never truly the same as a kitten who has always had contact with people but they can be pretty sweet and loving. You have to see it from their eyes. It's locked in a cage and something 30 times it size is staring it looking at it. It has never seen one before much less been this close. Then suddenly the creature reaches to grab the kitten with hands the size of it.
EsteriGermaine 16
Some of them can still end up like a normal domestic cat. I remember when I started, there was a really pretty 8 or so month old feral mother cat who liked scratching people. Fast forward 7 months and she is the type of cat who constantly wants to sit on people's laps and purr. I've also worked with 2 5 month olds who still rarely ask to be petted a year later. It all depends on the cat how they end up.
Grisha_fml 18
that was one evil little pussy... LOL
EsteriGermaine 16
This is why you listen, especially when you are around animals. While it may be safe to work with ones who are rehabilitated enough to stop attacking, full on feral cats should be left for people trained and experienced with them.
kaegomay12 17
He did warn you but that still sucks!
repKyle95 24
Wow you really are a total dumbass. I'm glad you don't work with the animals I do, or you'd have lost limbs by now. Seriously, get yourself a vasectomy and clean up the gene pool.