Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML
Today, after countless nights of no sleep and only some spontaneous naps, I was finally seeing a sleeping doctor to analyze the problem. I missed the appointment because I ended up sleeping through my alarm after not being able to sleep at all last night. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML
Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Today, I reached a total of three doctors, one therapist, one psychiatrist, and five prescribed medications, all because my body refuses to let me sleep. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, my anxiety decided to play a new trick: When I'm trying to go to sleep, I get anxious about having nightmares. It sure does wonders for my insomnia, which I've otherwise completely controlled. FML
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Top comments
ohishkabibble 21
Were you by any chance watching videos of cute baby seals and listening to Rhi today? Because one theory about sleep is that it's about information processing; that is, our dreams are a result of us consolidating memories from our day. For example, that's probably why my girlfriend has so many dreams that play out like video games, since she plays video games every day. Don't worry too much about your weird dreams, OP!
Kamon97 23
It's amazing at how little people pay attention when reading FML's
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Comments (100)
darwinism 30
All dreams have interpretations, and yours means you have issues. Sounds like some medicinal marijuana can help chill the seal out and get the horse to comment on your singing. Good lyck and sweet dreams OP.
zsxwrsd 7
You cant say that, most fml members are afraid of that scary green plant matter.
TheDrifter 24
No, we just value the brain matter that smoking said plant matter is destroying, because we fear the zombie apocalypse. Looking at the average Potheads comment, and the fact they almost always suggest their preferred drug as a solution to everything fuels our fears.
SouthernLady12 13
Sorry you had a wacky dream OP. There is a way to control dreams so try looking into it. When I listen to nature sounds while going to sleep I find I go to sleep easier and sleep better. Hope you get some rest soon.
Mynamewontfi 40
For me that would be a reason to sleep. I love weird dreams like that.
worldclassrager 41
Better than a nightmare? Right? Wait...
n3ophyt3 10
Stop watching too much of Rihanna
topdezfan 5
I waw the seal
Rag_dollxx 21
Marijuana? Helps you to sleep and is also a lot better for you than medication.
horneyhic 15
Why is this down voted she's right
tomatosz 23
Probably people that are against cannabis in all it's forms. Or people that think the only way to administer cannabis is by smoking it - which would be worse than plenty of medication out there. Edit: and maybe that people feel like #17 is implying that medication is bad, period.
Rag_dollxx 21
If people are so ignorant they think the only way to use cannabis is to smoke it then they shouldn't be having a vote. Of course not all medication is bad for you but meds to help you sleep can be addictive and do long term damage to liver etc. Marijuana, used with a vaporisor for example, IS a lot healthier for you and will help you fall into a more natural sleep rather than a chemically induced one.
junkman6 22
Except that is a chemically induced sleep also....
Rag_dollxx 21
No 91, it isn't.
worthlessACfan 11
don't sleep xD
UnknownJoe 6
Your duet must have been really bad to have SEAL chasing after you.
Tepidteal 1
It sounds like the next Disney movie.