Today, after years of insomnia and going to doctors to help get a regular sleeping pattern, I finally fell asleep without the help of medication, only to dream about being chased by an angry seal and singing to Rihanna with a horse. This is probably why I don't sleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as a lifelong insomnia sufferer, I was having an awful night. After tossing and turning in my bed for several hours, I decided to try sleeping on the couch. Not only did I finally fall asleep, I was having one of the best dreams of my life… Until my neighbor’s brat had a tantrum at 6 a.m. FML
Today, after countless nights of no sleep and only some spontaneous naps, I was finally seeing a sleeping doctor to analyze the problem. I missed the appointment because I ended up sleeping through my alarm after not being able to sleep at all last night. FML
Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML
Today, I had a dream about sleeping, which is a dream I have frequently. I’m exhausted even when I sleep. FML
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML
Today, to help with my insomnia, I downloaded some relaxing rain MP3s and set them to loop. For the first time in ages, I fell asleep within minutes. Somewhere around 5, however, the sound of trickling water caused my bladder to empty itself all over my bed. FML
Today, I reached a total of three doctors, one therapist, one psychiatrist, and five prescribed medications, all because my body refuses to let me sleep. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm because it was drowned out by humming. My humming, in my sleep. Even my body is against me waking up on time. FML
Today, my anxiety decided to play a new trick: When I'm trying to go to sleep, I get anxious about having nightmares. It sure does wonders for my insomnia, which I've otherwise completely controlled. FML
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Top comments
ohishkabibble 21
Were you by any chance watching videos of cute baby seals and listening to Rhi today? Because one theory about sleep is that it's about information processing; that is, our dreams are a result of us consolidating memories from our day. For example, that's probably why my girlfriend has so many dreams that play out like video games, since she plays video games every day. Don't worry too much about your weird dreams, OP!
Kamon97 23
It's amazing at how little people pay attention when reading FML's
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Comments (100)
olpally 33
Damn, that's awful and hilarious. Good luck getting sleep!
uarudeassbitchyo 17
Looks like someone isn't friends with the monster under his bed ....
davek 36
Or the evil monkey in the closet.
xsarax_fml 10
Oh god I thought it was just me with the weird dreams. I feel for you. The weirdest dream I had was me dressed in all black, breaking into people's apartments with a look out watching. Then I would plunge their toilets violently. Idk what my brain is up to at night sometimes..
DanielleinDC 34
Was the horse's name Mr. Ed? I didn't know he could sing as well as talk. Sorry about all your problems, but if you can write down your dreams, you might have a career in short fiction.
Relf 19
Wait, people arnt saposed to be dreaming that? Well then
Neighborhoods 8
what is wrong with Rihanna?
perdix 31
#33, she likes hoarse singing.
shortemogirl 10
I have weird dreams to last night I dreamt if red and blue teams being good and evil run by my uncle and evil wins till it became a yellow makes less sense when I write it down
Ghost308 11
That has to be in the top 5 worst nightmares of all time!!!!!
tomatosz 23
Doesn't a lack of sleep tend to make your dreams more vivid? It could simply be an effect of your insomnia rather than a cause/initial symptom.
zsxwrsd 7
Some loser down voted your comment for no particular reason, i restored you to neutral.
Nakoma_fml 10
Sometimes vivid dreams are the reason for the lack of sleep :(
MurphyGallagher 18
My step father constantly dreams of a 50 ft tall killer Spongebob chasing him down and eating him... It's ******.