Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was excited about showing everyone at work my new piercing. It's in an interesting place in my ear, and it's not that common. Before I had the chance to tell anyone about it, someone asked, "Are you wearing a hearing aid?" FML
Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML
Today, I was adjusting my nose piercing from the inside. My mother saw and thought I was picking my nose, so she slapped my hand away, tearing my nose ring out in the process. FML
Today, I was accused of cheating on my wife when an earring was found in our car. I knew it was my mom's missing earring but she didn't believe me. After calling my mom and getting them on the phone to clarify, my wife is upset I told my mother at all. Now I'm not a cheater, just an asshole. FML
Today, I spent the first day of my senior year in the ER because my new ear piercing got so infected that the doctors had to cut the earring out. FML
Today, I had a spur of the moment idea to go have my nose pierced. The piercer made sure to tell me how easily the little stud could get caught or hung up. I spent all day stressing over it only to scratch my nose and rip it out. Now I have a $40 bleeding hole in my nose. FML
Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
Today, my mother accused me of getting another lip piercing done on the sly to spite her. She finally realised I have more than one and won't believe I've always had two. Thanks for noticing, mom. FML
Today, I spontaneously got my ear pierced. By spontaneously, I mean my 12-year-old sister stabbed one of her earrings into my ear while I was sleeping. She claimed the freckle on my earlobe looks "exactly the same" as the hole from her ear piercing. FML
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Top comments
rukusrazor 0
Shes should know.
pancakelover 0
WTF MOM!?!?! Moms always say shit at the wrong time...
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Comments (155)
beyondperception 0
Wow...just...wow...that is hilarious!
reader1 0
I love the people on here who decide that it's their God given duty to decide whether something is an FML or not (that means you, #7)! If it's funny and/or embarrassing, it qualifies. Give me a break. OP: That sucks. On the bright side, you'll never see them again.
freemuffins 0
More like a "that's what she said" than an FML
coolster5000 22
Agrees
Laiaira 0
Ahhh! Thanks, mom!
Ohnoitslindsay 0
Who cares?
sLap_fml 0
that's what she said.
EOD_Elmo 0
#11 did you mean to refer to #6? #7 actually said "FYL"
save_me_08 0
I can't decide if this would be more embarrassing if the OP was a dude or a chick...
mcbeth 0
el oh el at #23 and #7, are you yelling at yourself?
Rhien 0
Great. I seriously am still laughing! FYL