Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sat next to this really hot guy in my writing class. We struck up a conversation, and it was going well, until he began describing, in excruciating detail, his IBS and fiber problems, and how he always has to poop. Good to know. FML
Today, I was sitting in my chemistry class when a sick girl behind me asked, "Can I go to the bathroom?" My teacher, being a smart ass said, "Don't you mean MAY I use the bathroom?" Meanwhile, the girl behind me started throwing up all over her desk… and me. FML
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
Today, my stomach growled so loud in class that a boy sitting next to me thought his phone had vibrated. FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, the guy who sits next to me in my psychology class openly admitted to torturing animals as a child. It's going to be a long semester. FML
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
Today, we got a new seating arrangement in my science class. I'm now sitting between two people who have spent the last 20 minutes whispering dirty things to one another. FML
Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked, "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML
Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by, "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. Then we continued to chat. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
VictoriaSchultz 8
Sounds like his own problem
kings1fan 6
At least he gave you a heads up
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (103)
charlotte69er 7
Here's a suggestion: ask to get ur seat changed
smashmaster52 0
Maybe it's a psychology experiment of some kind
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
I agree with 53. There is no reason for this guy to inform anyone that he may have to go to the bathroom. People just don't do that.
dguyuwishuwer 5
Did no one else realize that its probably a invitation for her join to join him....
whattheforkdude 0
There's been creepier... I mean, at least he didn't whisper spErrrrm.
vidwa 0
maybe he's messing with you, it is psych class.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Should've asked him why are you telling me?
Locoluis 15
Indeed. That idiot seems to live under the illusion that the OP cares about him somehow. Also, I would add a " LEAVE ME ALONE! " scream if I was in the OP's place. You have to be blunt and direct because guys like him are particularly blind to subtle hints. Not just blind, but also completely unwilling to accept the obvious truth that she doesn't like him and that she considers him a creep.
BunBunBabe 8
No offense but if this is good enough to be a FML I could have a quote like that posted every week
spottyblanket 8
He was probably being polite so that he didn't disturb you if he had to excuse himself quickly, or case you wodnered where he went to if he just suddenly left. Why didn't you say, oh that sucks, hope you get better soon? I don't see why this is creepy. FHL not yours OP.
tonic_clonic 4
How did this make it on here? Not an FML. Maybe if it had another sentence to make it interesting "And then he pulled down his pants and shat on my laptop while singing Baby Got Back"
tonic_clonic 4
what? ^ that comment did not need to be moderated.