Today, I returned from my year-long vacation to Brazil, having lost a lot of weight and feeling better about my self-confidence. When I met my uncle at the airport, I greeted him with a friendly hug. I was greeted by his erection. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came back from my 3-month vacation in France. During my vacation I lost 32 lbs and I was so excited to show off my new body to my boyfriend. When he walked in the door, he didn't notice me, but he did notice my younger, thinner and tanner sister strutting around in her bikini. FML
Today, I saw my uncle after six months. The first thing he says to me is, 'I didn't even recognize you! You've gained so much weight.' Gee thanks uncle. Just what I wanted to hear. FML
Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. After knocking on the door, I was greeted by her hairy, 300+ pound father in his underwear. He then hugged me. FML
Today, after spending five years regaining contact with my estranged father, I finally met him. I tearfully dropped my luggage and ran to hug him. He belched and told me to get in the car, because he had diarrhea. FML
Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML
Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML
Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, the guy I've had a crush on came over to my house. My Dad came in to see how we we're doing, looks at me and says "Man... You've REALLY been puttin' on the pounds!", pokes me in the stomach a few times, and leaves. FML
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Top comments
Jackey 29
You should have ended the hug by forcefully introducing his crotch to your knee.
Jackey 29
Yeah, being a guy, I get that... but I've yet to rub mine against anyone who didn't want it... and if I ever start rubbing against family members, I'll toss myself off a bridge.
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Comments (10)
Jackey 29
You should have ended the hug by forcefully introducing his crotch to your knee.
JustThatPerson 21
Not all erections are intentional lol
Jackey 29
Yeah, being a guy, I get that... but I've yet to rub mine against anyone who didn't want it... and if I ever start rubbing against family members, I'll toss myself off a bridge.
cazziuz1983 9
There Is a diffrence between rubbing against some one, and someone feeling it during a hug... That being said uncle should have did the one armed sideways hug
rotflqtms_ 21
Yeah, if a guy is hugging a family member, not their significant other, their waist areas don't need to be touching. Honestly when I hug family, it's always a lean in hug, especially if I'm hugging a Male. I don't even hug other girls standing fully straight, so even if a guy has an unintentional erection, I'll most likely not notice unless I look down... Like... idk all the inner workings of the male mind to know why they have unintentional erections, must suck, but if you're a guy, learn to do a leaning hug at least.
PenguinPal3017 19
She greeted him with a hug. It may have been entirely her pushing into him.
RichardPencil 32
How is that not a huge confidence boost? Your weight loss was be so successful, you now give your own uncle a raging boner! Sounds like a big, fat compliment to me!
Jackey 29
Look at you, always looking at the positives 😃
Manda 3
To the person who said you should have knees your uncle: who says SHE gave him the erection? What if it was awkwardly timed? Who knows