Today, two of my friends condemned me for being "narrow-minded", because I couldn't help but laugh at the thought that someone would believe mermaids actually exist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML
Today, I babysat for two little girls, who wanted to play 'mermaids'. I smiled, and said that I would love to play with them. The older girl laughed, saying "You can't be a mermaid. Mermaids are pretty." FML
Today, an overweight coworker of mine was saying that her favorite mythical creatures was Mermaids, because she considers them graceful, carefree and aesthetically beautiful, like her. I absentmindedly blurted out, “Not with that body.” The word “Sorry” didn’t cut it for the write up I received. FML
Today, I found out my friends call me 'Shamu the whale' behind my back. FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, my friend accused me of lying about being gay. Why? I happen to ship some m/f couples in the works of fiction I follow. According to her, gay people are inherently opposed to anything heterosexual, and therefore it shouldn't be possible that I like those ships. The kicker? She herself is straight. FML
Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML
Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML
Today, at a dinner party, someone brought up astrology and I casually said I don’t really believe in it. One guest immediately accused me of being “emotionally closed-minded” while another started defending me like we were in a courtroom drama. I just wanted more soy sauce, not ideological warfare over moon signs. FML
Today, I was having dinner at a long-time friend's place. In a matter of 15 minutes, her mom had managed to establish unequivocally that three kinds of people were ruining the world: vegetarians, atheists, and homosexuals. I'm all three rolled into one. She knows that. FML
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Top comments
Abenti 8
They actually did exist. They went extinct sometime in the 1500s.
buck33 14
Same with the unicorns.
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Comments (62)
mea_iloveskiing 26
Laugh once again I dare you, I double dare you!! =D
elephantsarecute 16
Tell them that they're narrow-minded for condemning narrow-minded people.
lostcrazydiamond 10
Be grateful they aren't devoted vampire believers. Probably.
perdix 31
You should of picked smarter friends. ;)
Bunaf 4
I see what you did there!
emilyjgraham 34
I'm just waiting for someone to not understand this!
ArielTheMermaid 17
At first I was like "seriously?" Then I saw it was Perdix and I understood
jaguar45b 7
Disney thinks Mermaids are real.. Coughs* little mermaid
ICastillo 25
Man their stupid everyone know mermaids are fake, but Bigfoot that's a different story that guy is real.
whatthefreshhell 15
Right, THEY'RE* the stupid ones..
ICastillo 25
Calm down bro it happens.
white16sox 19
That was also one hell of a run-on sentence.
lambda_fml 40
Obviously you know nuthing about the sea creatures, you narrow minded twat.
Nordah 15
In my biology class, sophomore year of high school, one of the girls in my class was genuinely shocked to learn that unicorns were (and still aren't) real. I feel for you, OP.
awesomeosaurous 2
Technically they did exist, they just didn't look like horses. They were giant unicorn rhinos.
saksxalmo 20
Why do all the mystical creatures turn out to be fat, grey, and wrinkly? Mermaids=manatees, unicorns=rhinos, dragons=komodo dragons... what's next? Fairies? Oh god...
sduval33 5
Fairies are what seniors turn into after retirement. Didn't you know??
Nordah 15
Fairies turn into sparkling vampires?
winkydog4056 16
Gard! Am I that old!? Doesn't ANYONE remember the movie 'Splash'!? Help me out here people....
conman531 23
I know this sounds strange, but there is evidence that mermaids once, or may still even, exist. Not the flashy sparkly ones seen in movies, but human like beings with tail fins. Basically, the human ancestors would swim in search of food often, so they developed a tail fin. Also, these mermaids developed a bond with dolphins. Evidence of that is that in South Africa, fishers will fish, and dolphins will chase fish to the shore, and won't fear the nets because they trust the humans to let them go. And they weren't trained this way. People are also hearing an unidentifiable noise in ocean recordings. I know, it sounds stupid and dumb, and when someone first told me about it, I thought they were full of shit, even when he said the exact same stuff. I saw the special on animal planet, and it was really compelling. I know you'll probably think I'm insane, but just try to find it for yourself.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I think I saw part of one of those shows... Unfortunately, I didn't get to see all of it, but it did look interesting!
whatthefreshhell 15
If you're not taking about Mermaids: The Body Found, you guys should check that out c:
gman90210 18
Yep and it was not the country they were in that did it. It was done because THE AMERICAN GOVT. told them to and laid claims to them as remains of navy personnel that were being used as guinea pigs. Which all American troops are at some point. And not always told until it comes out in a news article
kittytub 12
I watched that documentary. it talked about fishermen that would find fish with spears already in them. it was quite convincing. :3
maimengming 10
I don't want to ruin everyones dreams here, but if you look it up, that documentary is openly fake. I was fascinated by it and looked it up, but it's, sadly, not true.
love_me_electric 20
63 beat me too it. I'm surprised so many people thought it was real. It would take millions of years for humans to evolve to the point where they developed fins. Even if it actually happened, the front of their body would evolve in the same way so they wouldn't still look like people.
kittytub 12
I... I can never become part cat, part mermaid? D':
LiterOfCola 16
63: The documentary has actors instead of real people and a lot of it is, but not the whole thing is fake. Things that are real from that documentary include: the aquatic ape theory, the complex sound bite, the "evidence" or whatever you wanna call it with the spears in large, pelagic fish, and the similar cave drawings from civilizations that never had contact with each other.
onlychildFTW 34
How many people actually read that all??
maimengming 10
105- I just don't wanting people putting too much faith into the documentary. If you look it up, the people aren't real, the whale beachings they were investigating aren't, ect. I totally believe that there's a possibility that mermaids could exist, but that documentary isn't real.
Raesin 21
Yes I saw that show, and the kids recording on his camera phone got suspiciously clear once his mate got closer. But after seeing that and considering that we know very little about our oceans I don't see why the 'aquatic ape' theory couldn't be real. It did kinda make me wonder though that if the navy was supposedly watching them, then how come David Attenborough or his crew have never had any issues filming all this stuff? So yea, common sense implies it's fake, but it is very convincing.