Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected it. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I had a first date via video, due to Covid. It was the first time a girl had asked me out, and she seemed very enthusiastic. Until she started to worry me by throwing in the L-word about 10 minutes in, and talking about our wedding. I've never even met this person in real life. FML
Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with the girl of my dreams. Wanting to get to know her, I asked her what she’s looking for in a relationship. She scoffed and said how relationships are for the weak and that it’s better to not catch feelings to avoid being hurt. I guess I don’t have a chance. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
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Top comments
Sue21 0
Tell her to go to a wallet making factory
whocaresnotme 0
what the heck???? how bout u never talk to her ever again
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Comments (239)
fswkevin 0
You got had. I do this after ONS's. Say something really weird so she feels the need to leave ASAP and never talk me again. Works like a charm.
crushedrose3 6
wtf???
sohomomo 2
wtf
sleepless15_p 0
you are a ******* idiot
OMGShoes1994 0
ha, ha? lulz # 23, 47, 35. agreed. plain and simple as that - if she was a wallet, in her next life, she'd have money, credit cards, and free rides in their pant pockets, not to mention: she'd be the coolest human-wallet ever.
queenliz02 0
This sounds like you think your method is some epically cool thing, and hers is just sooooo lame. Get over yourself. #104- Major, major points for the Futurama reference.
eyeofthebeholder 0
... so??? i feel like she was trying to be unique. shouldn't be a deal breaker. you're the one who was talking about death in the first place- never ends well.
cheesefest 0
Do you like her otherwise? Depending on the answer to that she could be a keeper or not. Kind of quirky answer, not necessarily a bad one.
Camelnaction 0
hey that skydiving thing is sick ... at least you feel free ... know what i mean ... and what the hell a wallet :S
lologirl419 0
umm... why is this FML worthy?