Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected it. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML
Today, I had a great time with a girl I liked. I asked her out and she said yes. She also said she cuts herself and if I ever broke up with her, I'll be responsible for her death. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend skydiving for her birthday. I insisted on joining her to make it a memory for us both, despite my fear of heights. I passed out twice mid-freefall and had to be saved by the instructor both times. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I had a first date via video, due to Covid. It was the first time a girl had asked me out, and she seemed very enthusiastic. Until she started to worry me by throwing in the L-word about 10 minutes in, and talking about our wedding. I've never even met this person in real life. FML
Today, I told the girl of my dreams that my love for her was deeper than the ocean. She laughed hysterically. This wouldn’t be so bad but we happen to be dating. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML
Today, I went out to dinner with the girl of my dreams. Wanting to get to know her, I asked her what she’s looking for in a relationship. She scoffed and said how relationships are for the weak and that it’s better to not catch feelings to avoid being hurt. I guess I don’t have a chance. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
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Top comments
Sue21 0
Tell her to go to a wallet making factory
whocaresnotme 0
what the heck???? how bout u never talk to her ever again
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Comments (239)
AdamRock 2
i dont get it
ozac 0
nice #23 At least she is being original. So she's got that going for her. And why would you want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute? Haven't you ever seen The Guardian? According to that movie, hitting water not only 50 ft. above is like jumping onto cement and can kill you. So definitely recommend the parachute. I agree with #115. maybe thats her sense of humor in there. NBD and no, not FYL.
wowfmlife 0
that's....disturbing.
wowfmlife 0
#119 "hitting water not only 50 ft. above is like jumping onto cement and can kill you." ....that's the point
jdkfgkjdfb 0
Is she by any chance a cow?
Silhouette_fml 0
Yours wasn't all that normal yourself, you know...
brillopod 0
This chick sounds fantastic! Maybe you're just a boring bitch. Also it's extremely judgemental of you to just freak out about someone based on a single comment.
Madman19 0
I want to be cremated and have my ashes put inside a coconut and carried away by a swallow. What's your point? She sounds interesting. I want to meet her.
megadeth222 0
Can someone plz explain this........she doesn't mean litteraly a wallet right? cause everyone is like freaking out.....if someone said that to me i would just be confused
philadelphianus 0
wtf??