Today, at work, somebody stole my sunglasses. Fed up with the constant theft in my office, I stormed up to my boss, as he had long ago promised to catch the thief. He listened patiently to my rant before pointing out that my sunglasses were on my head. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML
Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML
Today, while out shopping, a middle aged man snatched my sunglasses off my face, threw them off the ground, and stomped on them, saying, "That’s what you get for trying to look cool, asshole!" I suffer from light-induced migraines. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, my boss and I were stacking boxes in the back room of the store. One of the boxes fell and hit me in the face, causing me to lose my glasses. My boss stepped on my glasses as she ran to check the box for broken merchandise, which I then had to pay for. FML
Today, while I was taking a break at work, someone stole my iPod from my desk. I work in a police station. FML
Today, my boss tried to knock down a tower of empty boxes next to me while yelling, "Beat it, nerd!" A box hit my face and knocked my glasses off. I got bullied by my boss. FML
Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML
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Top comments
NightmareStalker 0
it happens to all of us ;)
bluegoldfish 7
ohh wow i hate when that happens. like when you get someone to call your phone to find where it is and suddenly it starts ringing from your pocket...or your hand...sigh...
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Comments (140)
DFlit1 0
wow I'm sorry but usually when I look for my sunglasses I look around pat my pockets and check my head lol u could learn the procedure lol
Snafuusmc 12
it happens to us all I to lost my glasses on my face to.
foilindo 0
faaaaaail!!! lol
ribbyc80 0
so somebody didn't steal your sunglasses, as per what is said in the beginning, which makes this FML redundant.
lulututu 4
I like the word redundant:)
xxlauruh 0
redundant seems to be the wrong word here.
ribbyc80 0
oops, meant irrelevant, pointless, meaningless.
RyanMacVey 17
should have said "i dont f***ing care where they are, i wanna know who f***ing put them there"
HannahForbesxo 13
I think that would've made OP look more stupid.
RyanMacVey 17
did i ask for your opinion???
HannahForbesxo 13
Did OP ask for yours? No, you still commented it though.
RyanMacVey 17
coz my opinion matters
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
haha. :)
RyanMacVey 17
my opinion is important though
HannahForbesxo 13
Mine is equally as important though?
enonymous 9
You two should get married all you need is a crying baby and it'd be like thanksgiving at my house. Also I need to hear more conviction from you when you tell gayboii his opinions don't matter because he's not a chick
RyanMacVey 17
no?
HannahForbesxo 13
I didn't say his opinion doesn't matter, I was just disputing it. Though I'm going to agree with him on that point and say no, I'd rather not marry him.
enonymous 9
Already both of you don't want to be married. It's like you two already went through it. keep fighting on guys I know you 2 will make it.
RyanMacVey 17
why not??? ... i think i would make a pretty good husband
HannahForbesxo 13
I don't really know you so I can't comment on whether or not you'd be a good husband.
RyanMacVey 17
well you would be lucky to have a husband like me
lulututu 4
That has to be one of the funniest conversations I have read:)
enonymous 9
I'd marry him. I probably already have... If I did sorry about the crabs
RyanMacVey 17
thats alright... i would marry anyone tbh if they wanted to marry me
lionandthelamb61 9
Hannah and gay, you two obviously have this little flirty thing going on, you're the same age, you live in the same place...You can't fight the moonlight...I think a steamy PM or two are in order.
BAMF519 0
haha ur pretty funny!
RyanMacVey 17
really??? thanks
ChantelRenaeee 0
giggity....
NightmareStalker 0
umm as they stated, there were other thefts happening...so if your things were being stolen, this could easily happen...chill..
NightmareStalker 0
Woops this was response to #7
ceddyz17 10
way to be
CateXOX 0
... To be what?! I'm dying to know!
xalerion 0
22 the pikachu in your picture seems to be a marsupial if you look closely... I wouldn't be drinking the water if I were you... do any of you remember those commercials for the beeper things that you could attach to almost anything and you'd have a pager of sorts that you could press a button and it would beep? I think op should buy a bunch of those and attach them to all her items and label them individually, but shed have to buy more to attach to her pager things so she wouldn't lose the pagers :)
xXshadowrollerXx 6
...To be? I actually want to know what this guy was planning on saying, cause his comments are always so great to read. I'm dying here, please continue!
alaskasfml 0
maybe the comment is unfinished so we can make up our own idea of what it might be..?
RyanMacVey 17
coz my opinion matters
enonymous 9
I think this is best summed up by saying "You best check yo self before you wreck yo self"
theten_fml 9
I would of lied and said those were a different pair to not look like a jackass