Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I went to a party and crashed on the bedroom floor. I woke up to sex noises coming from the bed. I pretended to still be asleep. I sent a text to my boyfriend to tell him about it. I heard his phone beep from over in the bed. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and started knocking on his door, asking, "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answered, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML
Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having phone sex. It got very wild and soon was interrupted by a knock on my door. My dad had come home early from work, and heard the whole thing. He demanded my boyfriend to come over, and he had a sex talk with him on the couch in front of the whole family. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
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Top comments
mizled 0
You read your texts during sex? That's just bad manners...
Chaith 16
Hey, that's cool, your boyfriend frequents fmylife.com too! "Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML"
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Comments (154)
mycobain 0
#6 hehehe
kat666 0
@ #10: #7 was right. That's the correct word to use. you're = you are.
u_killed_kenny_ 0
who gives a ****?
LIL209JJ 0
intellectual bad ass mother *******, that's who
hayfayday 15
No one used that form of "your/you're" though. They used the possessive "your". If your gonna correct people, get your facts straight.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
160 - you're*
alex_smokin_okin 0
its amazing the lies people get away with on this site
lifesabit 0
Lol. Word to the wise... if your coming home late to your parents house and plan on the bumping of the uglies: call out to them. Worst case scenario: You wake them up.
MakinBacon 0
That's why you never have sex at your parents' house.
ohboyscott 0
i call fake. posted by "mrawsum" unless they were having GAY SEX while his parents were home.
lundo 3
so did you show him or did you just respond to the text?
snapisevil 0
Not sure how this is an FML. Your parents at least didn't lecture you for having sex in their house or something, just for faking it!
alex_vik 1
#20 - They might have been having gay sex. It does happen.
eschreib 0
thats awkward