Today, my daughter-in-law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, the only response I got was, "You may want to use a spellcheck." FML
Today, trying to be nice, I sent a text to my mother-in-law saying that I couldn't wait to have her delicious casserole tonight. Only after sending, I realized that "casserole" had auto corrected to "asshole". FML
Today, my husband sent an email invite to his family about our daughter's upcoming birthday. Upon reading the email, his aunt clicked "reply all" while emailing her husband and said, "I'd rather say we're out of town than see that dumb bitch our nephew calls his wife." FML
Today, my mother in law accidentally cc'd me on an email she was sending to my husband, telling him that his youth is fleeting and that he should leave me while he still has time. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, my husband and my daughter engaged in a fart war. Guess who go to do a pile of shitty laundry, while the other texted his friends about the “hilarious” incident? FML
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, my daughter is such a bitch that when her husband texted to say he’d be 30 minutes late after work, she rang him to yell at him. He got so upset, he decided not to come home at all and booked a hotel, which was awkward for everyone waiting to surprise him with a birthday party. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Meant for "her husband"...suuuuuure it was. I wouldn't bother slamming her head in the oven. I've tried that on numerous FML commenters to no avail. I recommend a taser. The spelling isn't better, but at least they're quiet for a few minutes.
rachilio 26
Whoa. Anger issues much?
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Comments (169)
SexyBabb13 3
I say u send her a naked pic of urself and go oops I meant it for someone else she'll either be dumbfounded and text back with a omg or she stop talking to u becuz of embarressment either way... WIN!!
MyS3lf 24
Well, from reading the comments here, I'm going to go ahead and guess that most of these people either: A) Aren't married, B) Never had much contact with their own in-laws, or C) Have fairytale lives where no one is an inconsiderate moron, ever. I've lived with a lot of different roommates, couple different families, and my own family. The worst person I've ever encountered is my father-in-law. I totally get the whole 'wanting to slam her head in an oven' thing. It seems like a small offense at first glance, but when you have to deal with all these small offenses day after day after day, they wear on you. My f.i.l. lives with us, and I'm so freaking tired of seeing his face, I too would like to slam his head in the oven. Cheer up OP, at least she doesn't live with you! :)
CamberwellCarrot 8
You'll probably feel better if you post some of the messages here so we can all laugh at them.
miZscrZee 0
Whats wrong with her?? Do u and ur son have the SAME name?? &&/or NICKNAME in her contact??
4rmMiami 4
Damn...give her a hint :{)
sat123 12
My mother-in-law texts like a teenager. I was appalled at first, but now I think it's cute. They're fun to dryly read aloud, including "ell oh ell exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point." My husband knows his mother texts like a teen, and finds it amusing.
chevysdime92 3
at least you'll be getting her back in the kitchen
Fulldemonstorm 10
seriously?
Jack121524 0
Is she jewish if not why the oven.
Jack121524 0
What did the oven do to you.