Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Talk about not being able to hold your liquor!
perdix 31
Drinking wine at a lunch meeting? You mustn't be from around here. (Ever since the Exxon Valdez, drinking on the job has been considered a bad idea here in the US.)
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Comments (61)
Jacksparrow72 21
Looks like you're not upper floor material.
lambda_fml 40
I wonder what the look said.
Xotoolyxo 16
He should be flattered you liked his joke that much
CanadianCutie22 16
haha that's terrible !!
ohSNAPyall 27
Whatever. Both you and your boss will be retelling this story for years.
Shade1982 21
So only 2 people thought it was appropriate to drink 'wine' at a 'lunch' meeting? I know it is normal in some countries, but I would have gone with something non-alcoholic, especially if they are important...
RedPillSucks 33
I don't think it would have made a difference. Once you snort liquid out your nose, you don't really care whether it was alcoholic or not. Maybe you care if it was minty fresh or something that burns....
Mabonga 12
allergic reactions have that effect, lets blame it on the joke anyway...
UmmOkThen 31
My boyfriend did the same thing on our first date, except it was water. Hopefully, your boss will be understanding. Life happens.