Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a meeting at work with my board of directors for a potential promotion. When one of them told a joke, I politely let out an amused snort. Then, I noticed my director's white shirt and tie covered in red splatter. I nose bled all over the director of my company. FML
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I took a swig of my Dr Pepper while having a meeting with my manager. As soon as I was about to swallow, I began coughing, and spat a whole mouthful all over her face. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, during a presentation, I gestured too dramatically and launched my pen across the room. It bounced off the projector screen, hit my boss’s coffee cup, and splattered it across the conference table. Everyone froze while I jokingly apologized to the table. FML
Today, while eating lunch, one of my friends told a joke that made everyone at the table laugh. Apparently, the guy standing behind me overheard and was laughing too. So much in fact that he spewed the red Gatorade he was drinking all over the back of my white shirt and hair. FML
Today, I was in a meeting at work. In the middle of our CEO's speech, I farted. Everyone heard including my boss, who looked over and said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to add?" FML
Today, at the winery, my boss proudly made a spectacle of the new, high quality bottles. After over a year of employment without breaking a bottle, I shattered three before lunch. FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with a couple of work buddies. Trying to be suave, I started hitting on our waitress. Not two seconds after saying, "Hey baby," I felt ice water on my balls. The guy next to me had spilled both our water glasses. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Talk about not being able to hold your liquor!
perdix 31
Drinking wine at a lunch meeting? You mustn't be from around here. (Ever since the Exxon Valdez, drinking on the job has been considered a bad idea here in the US.)
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Comments (61)
onorexveritas 24
don't you hate it when that happens?
NurseJonathan 9
Yep. I hate when my employee shoots red wine out of his nose at important people at my company. It's like he's out for blood...Or wine.
MakinMills 12
haha. what happen after?
MitChell127 5
Engrish you speak?
The_Thinker 18
Well, what happened to *your* funny bone then?
The_Thinker 18
Ugh, this was actually meant to be a reply to #33. Darn FML mobile.
NurseJonathan 9
It is funny. However they are important people to the company, who knows what can happen to them now?
grtfuldeadlovr 27
I want to work at a place that allows drinking
rhysfucker 24
U. S. Congress. Ask Ted Kennedy.
RedPillSucks 33
He's dead, Jim.
Dramori 29
Could've been worse - might have been important clients and not just internal people, even if they were important!
RedPillSucks 33
Was it white or red?
SMHsohard 22
It's called live and learn. Now you know why you only take small sips of wine, as opposed to slugging it back like a Jell-O shot at a frat party.
RedPillSucks 33
Jell-O shots would have been better. It's harder to snort those though your nose.
MuseFan1991 14
that must have been one hell of a joke
krapula 4
Wine at a business lunch? Sounds professional.
darryaz 9
An ex coworker of mine puked while sitting next to the boss at lunch. She never lived that one down. (She still works there - I've since retired)