Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my doctor to discuss my chronic insomnia. After I'd spent ten minutes describing how exhausted I am and how it’s affecting my life, he looked me dead in the eye and said, "Have you tried just closing your eyes and clearing your mind?" I paid a $50 copay to be told how to blink. FML
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know… every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML
Today, I went to therapy. I started talking about my childhood and my life. By the time the session was over my therapist was crying. FML
Today, I finally convinced my mum to take me to a psychologist. As soon as he sat me down and asked me how I was doing, my mum burst into tears and went on a rant about how her life is terrible and she regrets everything. I was asked to sit in the waiting room. She used up my whole hour. FML
Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML
Today, I've been seeing a therapist after more than 20 years of struggles. I think I saw him cry during our sessions a few times. I guess that my inability to live my life at the fullest was hard earned. FML
Today, I finally spoke to a counsellor about my depression. As soon as the session started, I became so anxious that I could barely speak. Once the Zoom call was finished, I got the distinct impression that she thought I was mentally disabled. FML
Today, in a deep depression, on my worst night, I reached out to a lifeline. Waited an hour for the counselor to arrive, listen for a few minutes, then tell me I should, "Get my mind off of it by planning my prom, sewing a dress or painting my nails." The application clearly shows I'm an adult man. FML
Today, my psychiatrist said, "Well, good luck." at the end of my appointment. FML
Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML
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Top comments
meghanlbruno 4
I'm sure that's not all he offered you -_-
pbonham 22
Build a bridge... And get over it?? Haha
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Comments (119)
Devin91 20
That's 40 minutes where you weren't thinking about your problems.
groupleader 7
Hope you can get this bridge constructed on time and within budget. Tell the bill collectors to visualize you paying this bill when they try to collect in a few months.
Moanii 0
Lol their useless
IndieApathy 21
Psychiatrists are supposed to prescribe drugs... Perhaps you should see a psychologist first, and then, if need be, get referred to a psychiatrist. You may have to visualise more bridges for the psychologist, though...
Tjzabel21 2
You do realize that your building a bridge to try to "get over" your issues, right?
Skittles_Rawr 8
Still waiting for the FML part...
niall92 6
Sounds like you didn't get the point....
bdathorne 6
you are aware Dr. Seuss isn't a real doctor right?
pandm101 0
A lot of psychiatrists are quacks. I went to one: he handed me a candy bar, told me to hold it, then snatched it away. Then he handed me an apple, I knew what he was gonna do, so I held tighter. His words, "Your heart knew the apple was better for you, so it made you hold it tighter." I left about 10 seconds afterwards.
CRC_101 31
If you've only gone to one psychiatrist/psychologist, then what grounds do you have to say that "a lot" are quacks? The evidence you just provided for your statement is incredibly weak.
sammyluvspugs 4
Maybe so u can use the bridge to get OVER it!! Get it?? Hehe