Today, it was my first day as a mailman. One of the houses got a bunch of cards, and the owner coincidentally opened the door as I arrived. So I said to the owner that someone in the house must really be popular. He replied, "She died this Tuesday." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
Today, at my job at a pet store, my boss told me to go outside and hand out flyers. I saw a man sitting on a bench and walked up, saying, "Hi! Do you have a pet?" He teared up and said, "I just put her down this morning." FML
Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML
Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said, "Look who finally decided to come to work!" His response was, "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML
Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML
Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML
Today, on the first occasion I've seen my boss since her brief leave, I brought up how I got to hear all our customers' heartwarming plans for their moms on Mother's Day. Her mother just died. That's why she was on leave. FML
Today, I was once again sent tons of Mother's Day cards in the mail, even though my son died years ago and I've told people that I'm not a mother anymore. FML
Today, I called a guy who had requested a free marketing consultation for his funeral home through the internet a couple of days ago. When I got through, the receptionist seemed a little taken back by me wanting to talk to him. He had died and was buried yesterday. FML
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Top comments
worldclass 0
you had no way of knowing, not your fault!
DocBastard 40
OP, remember when you make presumptions you make a pre out of Sue and umption. Wait...
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Comments (98)
Schazam 0
Become a coroner where your worst day will consist of gaining one on the table. make yourself feel better and go mace a poodle
hairt 4
lesson learnt: just smile and say "have a nice day". LOL
1221jamw 11
Wow way to screw everything up. You're a bad person.
tthhoomm 0
tr0llin'
GLaDOS8899 14
OP didn't know that somebody died! He/she was trying to be polite!
FFML_314 12
Mailmen: You're all evil! I know someone that may or may not have a personal vendetta against you postmen/women. Watch your back, OP. ;D
DepressedSoul124 0
getting angry for people getting your mail for you. I don't have a mailman, I just get up and get my mail, lousy Americans.
FFML_314 12
Who the hell said I was American?
DocBastard 40
It clearly says in FFML's profile that she's Zimbabweian. Um, Zimbabweish. Zimbabweese. African.
FFML_314 12
We call ourselves Zimbabwazies.
ColdGold 6
lucky her
wildcatman 0
38 - I'd rather not drive 5 states away to pick up a letter from a family member thy wrote, so I guess I'm lazy? Hmm...
browncity23 0
ok 38... I'm American sadly... I hate these bloody Americans but not all of them are bad ok ass hole?
perdix 31
You could have said, "On the bright side, I won't have to break my back delivering all those sex toy catalogs she used to like so much."
DocBastard 40
perdix, you win 1 (one) internets for that comment.
abc1231 2
that's sad! I hope she'll haunt you in your dreams for saying that..
lidemocr 0
nice
chickletno1 0
I lol'd.
Kiwimike92 5
not your fault. you didnt know! i know that i probabaly just repeated everyone here lol
Xavi89 0
yeah dude it's cool! fyl
jomotto 3
YDI for being a mailman !
daven_fml 0
1st, OP, I'm sorry that happened on your first day on the job, be glad you have a job- work hard and move on and 2nd.perdix- you are one SICK ASS SON OF A BITCH, FYL that you were born instead of ending up as a sperm stain on your parents sheets!!!!!
perdix 31
Oh, joke you if you can't take a ****!
FFML_314 12
People don't come from sperm, 23. GOD, you're so stupid! Sheesh.
carcinogan 0
oh 27 I hope your joking
FFML_314 12
I hope you are too.
TherapistNate 0
>Expecting everyone to be srs about FMLs OH, YOU.
lidemocr 0
calm down it warns (funny) joke
gusgus36 5
aaah that's awkward... not like you could have known